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Crap! This Stuff is HARD!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

So I wrote this award-winning blog ( emoticon and that's the last time i'll mention,, about 2015 being my b*tch.

And it's true! So far, it HAS!

But as all good b*tches do, she has kicked my @ss like crazy!

"So I heard what you been sayin' 'bout me"


"And you do SO much?"

"Well..yeah. I've been doing pretty good..."

"Who's going to be whose b*tch??"

"Err...You're going to be MINE. That's right! That's what I said!"

*2015 laughs*

"It's really not funny. emoticon You ARE"

*laughs again*

"No like, for reals"

"for reals? pssh!"


My legs are killing me. My arms are killing me. This 'winter break' thing was off the rails fantastic, and now I'm paying for it. Like REEALLY paying for it.

But I persist!

I am NOT just a new year's resolution.

There is nothing left to resolve. I am doing this.

Every year there's a batch of "I can do this NOW! Because it's a new year, a new ME!"

And people come back, thinking that a new year will bring a new attitude. It won't.

Numbers. That's all it is. A number on a scale, a date. I have an uber-smart husband who I wonder, married me because I am NOT defined by them. I don't like them. I don't understand them. They make no difference to me.

But if you say you can do THIS, I believe you.

If you say you're tired of THIS, I believe you.

So I will get on this treadmill and freakin' CRY ( and I have, because it seems so daunting, so far-reached, and so..hard)

And I will remember those nice days of NOT being on it.

But I will also remember those days of feeling fat. of less-than. of putting on eye shadow and wondering why. of having NO energy and going about my day as if I didn't really exist. Of trying to just get up off the floor like my knees weren't killing me, or running like I wasn't worried about the sound of my fat flapping around didn't bother.

It IS hard. It DOES suck. Who wouldn't rather be drinking chocolate martinis than working out???

But I WILL do this. And 2015 will be my b*tch, whether she likes it or not.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • _BABE_
    2028 days ago
    Kick it, girlfriend! My daughter cries on the elliptical. She hates it. But she does it every day. We can do this!
    2028 days ago
    Keep Kicking A and taking names!
    2029 days ago
    Way to Go and Keep On Going!! No Looking just slows progress!
    All the best and thanks for sharing your inspiration with us!
    2029 days ago
    Chocolate martini? Are you serious? Never heard of such a thing. And I thought I knew all the creative ways to serve chocolate!
    2029 days ago
    You are woman...we hear you roar. That sound you hear...that's all of us determined people "roaring" with victory. 2015 is ours!!
    2030 days ago
    You are a wild child Sparky! Just the way we love you! There is nothing that can stop you from getting what you want, when you want it! I am confident 2015 is your B*tch whether she knows it or! Ummmm. I know you never talk about it, but you did write an AWARD WINNING BLOG that you have to live up to...hehehe!

    YOU CAN DO IT! xoxo
    2030 days ago
    Have the last laugh and drink a chocolate martini while on the treadmill. ARRGG!!!
    2030 days ago
    This blog made me tired. Tired because I so don't have that "pumped-up" kind of feeling right now. I have an "I'm bloated and tired and just want to watch TV" kind of feeling right now. It also made me sad because I haven't felt pumped-up in a while. I make goals, that I stick half-a$$ my way through, and halfway do things to get to my goals. But I don't have that motivation that I need. What motivates you?
    2030 days ago
    Yeah baby girl - you called it! It is hard & tough ... but I like those tears on a treadmill... like you said, better than not being on the treadmill at all :) This month has been hard on me too but I'm plugging along. It's NOT easy, but it's definitely going to be worth it b/c we are worth it!
    Keep pushing - keep sweating - keep crying if you have to! Just DO it (sorry Nike - didn't mean to steal your thunder). Love ya!
    2030 days ago
  • HEYRED221
    2030 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13354694
    2030 days ago
    Yeah, it's already started being a little hard for me, too. I was standing in the kitchen a couple of nights ago, after everyone had gone to bed, considering a binge.

    New year. Old pattern.

    And I don't know why, but I actually thought about the future in light of what I was about to do. Not the DISTANT future, as in I would like to live to see my grandchildren, but the immediate future, as in I'm gonna be in a bad mood tomorrow and feel like crap if I stuff myself with all this stuff and then go to sleep too late and then have the quality of what little sleep I get destroyed by the nightmare of all the bad chemicals, etc., etc. I didn't go through with the binge! Only recently, just the IDEA of a binge would make me feel compelled to go through with it.

    YES, 2015 belongs to US, Sparky! You are SPUNKY, SPARKY!
    2030 days ago
    Go, Grrl! Slap that b*tch!
    2030 days ago
    Oh yes she will! I love these blogs from you, the 'watch me roar', it just amps us up and makes me wanna yell go Sparky, go, take that b*tch down!

    You're doing great, you've already done great, and I know that you will tear 2015 up because you've made a decision, and once that's done, there's no other place for 2015 to go but down (down like an MMA loser, not down a hill...)

    I don't want you to feel like you did in that last paragraph again either, behind you all the way Sparky, let the fabulous fly free emoticon emoticon
    2030 days ago
    emoticon go you...thats awesome......I need to join you in making 2015 my Bi**ch as well.....
    We can so do that
    2031 days ago
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