GERIKRAGH
250,000-299,999 SparkPoints 297,106
SparkPoints
 

The Cowboy Solution

Tuesday, January 13, 2015





> I have lived, loved, lost and
> loved again. Life is not easy,..... But it is what it
> is.
>
> Cowboy rules
> for:
> Arizona, Texas ,
> Oklahoma , Colorado , New Mexico , Wyoming ,
> Montana ,
> Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, Nevada,
> and the rest of the "Wild West "are as
> follows:
>
> 1. Pull your pants up. You look
> like an idiot.
>
> 2. Turn your cap right, your head
> ain't crooked.
>
> 3. Let's get this straight:
> it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup
> truck because I want to.
> No matter how slow you drive,
> you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out
> of the way.
>
> 4. They are cattle. That's
> why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get
> over it. Don't like it?
> I-10 & I-40 go east and west,
> I-17 & I-15 goes north and south.
> Pick one and
> go.
>
> 5. So you have a $60,000 car.
> We're impressed.
> We have $250,000 Combines that
> are driven only 3 weeks a year.
>
> 6. Every person in the Wild West
> waves.
> It's called being friendly.
> Try to understand the concept.
>
> 7. If that cell phone rings while
> a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in
> during a hunt,
> we WILL shoot it outta your hand.
> You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the
> time.
>
> 8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon,
> deer and elk. You really want sushi and
> caviar?
> It's available at the corner
> bait shop.
>
> 9. The 'Opener' refers to
> the first day of deer season.
> It's a religious holiday held
> the closest Saturday to the first of
> November.
>
> 10. We open doors for women.
> That's applied to all women, regardless of
> age.
>
> 11. No, there's no
> 'vegetarian special' on the
> menu.
> Order steak, or you can order the
> Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and
> turkey.
>
> 12. When we fill out a table,
> there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and
> breads.
> We use three spices: salt,
> pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ...
> We don't care what you folks
> in Cincinnati call that stuff you
> eat...
> IT AIN'T REAL
> CHILI!!
>
> 13. You bring 'Coke' into
> my house, it better be brown, wet and served over
> ice.
> You bring 'Mary Jane'
> into my house, she better be cute,
> know how to shoot, drive a truck,
> and have long hair.
>
> 14. College and High School
> Football is as important here as the
> Giants,
> the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers
> and the Knicks,
> and a dang site more fun to
> watch.
>
> 15. Yeah, we have golf
> courses.
> But don't hit the water
> hazards - it spooks the fish.
>
> 16. Turn down that blasted car
> stereo!
> That thumpity-thump ain't
> music, anyway.
> We don't want to hear it
> anymore than we want to see your
> boxers!
> Refer back to
> #1!
>
> A true Westerner will send this
> to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably
> won't get it,
> but we're friendly so we
> share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life
> is all about!!!
> And there is
> more.............
>
> The COWBOY Solution to save
> Gasoline.
>
> OBAMA wants us to cut the amount
> of gasoline we use.....
>
> The best way to stop using so
> much gasoline is to
> deport 15 million illegal
> aliens!
>
> That would be 15 million less people
> using our gas.
>
> The price of gas would
> plummet.....
>
> Bring our troops home from
> Afghanistan to guard the
> borders.....
>
> When they catch an illegal
> immigrant crossing the Border,
> hand him a canteen, rifle and
> some ammo
> and ship him to
> Afghanistan ....
>
> Tell him if he wants to come to
> AMERICA
> then he must serve a tour in OUR
> military....
>
> Give him a soldier's pay
> while he's there and tax him on
> it......
>
> After his tour, he will be
> allowed to become a citizen
> since he defended this
> country.....
>
> He will also be registered to be
> taxed and be a legal resident.....
> This option will probably deter illegal immigration
> and
> provide a solution for the troops
> in Afghanistan and
> the aliens trying to make a
> better life for themselves. .......
>
> If they refuse to serve, ship
> them to Afghanistan
> anyway,
> without the canteen, rifle or
> ammo.
>
> Problem
> solved......
>
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
 

More Blogs by GERIKRAGH