PATTYR81

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Still Climbing Out of a Hole

Monday, January 12, 2015

Friday, DD#2 went back to college out of state emoticon emoticon

Was a tough, tough day emotionally. emoticon emoticon made super-chaotic by cleaning ladies working, last minute laundry, packing, searching and ultimately going to dr office & replacing lost cd with MRI results.... forgot my counseling appt.... ARGH!!!! Did get her to airport on time tho barely....SW lost her suitcase sigh....then found it 2 days later. Gave her a $50 voucher, nice but didn't do much for MY stress! Then her car battery was low and kept crapping out.... was TOTALLY wiped out Sat & Sun. Vegged on couch, glued to tv, ate too much....YIKES!

Sat I DID manage to put some things in place to get myself back on track emoticon .

Bought a new scale emoticon (old one showed my weight one day at 240 and the next at 180... emoticon Too much emotional rollercoaster there!)

Bought 2 new pairs of Lee Riders jeans - one size 12 and one size 14. Yes, I can SQUEEZE myself into 12, but feel soooo awful that I can't wait to peel them off and put on sweats!
emoticon Wearing sweats convinces my brain that I'm really still size 10 and can eat, eat, eat! emoticon Wearing size 14 comfortably reminds me to watch my food, get more activity and that size 12's (and ultimately size 10's) are on my horizon....

DD#1 wears my size- that black hole is where my clothes have been going. Argh! Her laundry 'practices' are NOT the same as mine - she waits until ALL clothes are dirty or room smells bad. As a result, many times, I have nothing to wear but sweats and DH's clothes.

In all honesty, I'm probably considered fanatical - I can't stand clothes/towels around on floor, beds or chairs, etc. I run laundry every day. Learned it from my neat-nick mom and ex-Marine dad.

Anyway, I've decided to keep my new jeans to myself: usually I 'announce' my purchases so all can admire them. I only told my DH. And I switched my jeans to another dresser drawer. It occurs to me that this may be sortof passive-aggressive, but right now feels right.

The other part of the jean story that's different for me is to buy a size that 'fits right and comfortable' instead of the size I think I 'should' be and then SQUEEZE into it. I figured that I need to live TODAY and not in the future. YAY me! emoticon

My goal today is to walk, eat clean and drink some plain water (I've been only drinking decaf coffee and tea).

Happy Day Spark Friends!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DJ4HEALTH
    Those jean sizes have been changing so much most woman don't know their true size thanks to the constant changing the sizes to make women feel good about getting into a smaller size in reality they are getting bigger and unhealthy too.
    1833 days ago
  • 2HAMSDIET
    emoticon emoticon
    1833 days ago
  • CARRILU
    I totally get the sadness/relief of DD heading back to college emoticon
    My other daughters also like that heaping mess of theirs plus everyone else's borrowed stuff getting dank before they wash it. why?????

    Good for you for the scale and the new jeans! It'll happen, You've declared it and now it's yours! emoticon
    1833 days ago
  • ANNABELLISABEL
    It is crazy to me about sizes, I can fit into 14s no problem, my 18 fitted pants still fit too, sizes are a joke. haha. Whatever you're comfortable in, I'll just be happy to finally say goodbye to 16+
    1833 days ago
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