Monday, January 12, 2015
First day of class. I'm anxious as heck and tempted to skip it, but I won't.
I had a very strange weekend full of inner tension, anxiety, and emotional lability.
I understand the triggers, but not the magnitude of these emotions. I think it may be wise to look into a mood stabilizing medication to help me function better under stress; this morning I called a psychiatrist, so I'll see how long it takes to get an appointment. Until then, I will cope with exercise, meditation, music. The rigidity of expectation vs reality is a form that does not serve and must be dissolved. My mind has returned to a tranquil state. Floating.
"To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don't grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float."