PORTIAWILLIS
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I Quit

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Today is the worse day I have had in a long time. These words are my ramblings to myself and not meant to discourage anyone else. So please don't read this if you are having a bad day. Nothing here will motivate you.

I don't understand what went wrong?? I was going along pretty good even with not feeling the best. Stayed on my eating plan with Whole 30, just didn't get in my exercise. Then Friday night I got really sick and started throwing up. Had to take nausea meds and they knocked me out for over 16 hours. Up just long enough to call work and tell them I would not be in. When I did wake up the nausea was so bad all I could eat was crackers and Gatorade. After that it just went down hill. I was so hungry but everything I ate just made me sick. Then I just plain started to feel sorry for myself and the old self doubt and critic took over. I just couldn't seem to stop all the negative thoughts. I know I know all you have to do is just stop but it seemed like the harder I tried the worse my thoughts got. All I thought is you are never going to be any different so you might as well just quit trying. My thoughts instantly went to trying a different DIET.
I CAN'T DO THIS
I AM TO TIRED
I NEVER STICK TO ANYTHING
I WILL ALWAYS BE FAT
I CAN'T WIN
Well if you look at these words its no wonder I feel bad. All I am thinking about is me

Looking at the above I realize that most of my problems come from how I feel about myself. It is a self image problem. Until I come to love myself as I would any other person I will never change.

I want to thank the many Spark people who journal their thoughts about how they have come to love their bodies because they are helping me to realize how important that was to their transformation. Thank you Indygirl for you blog today.

Tomorrow is a new day and another chance for me to change my thought and actions.
Wait I don't have to wait till tomorrow. I can start right now.
I LOVE ME JUST WHERE I AM.
IT IS OK NOT TO BE PERFECT
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • EVER-HOPEFUL
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1407 days ago
  • ICEWYNDE
    Dieting is hard enough, without having the flu on top of it all. No wonder you are feeling overwhelmed. Today is a new day and a new chance to start over. Maybe Whole 30 isn't right for your body? or maybe you just need a day to regroup and start over.

    What ever happens, YOU are not a failure. We love you, Sweetie!

    emoticon emoticon
    1408 days ago
  • LINDA!
    So true - we have ups and downs. But "sticking with it" is the best we can do!!
    1408 days ago
  • BARCELONAME
    We are all in the journey with lots of bad days, struggles and negative thoughts. We are all learning together how to get by and be happier. There is no defeat, life is learning. emoticon emoticon
    1408 days ago
  • BABY_GIRL69
    Most of the time "we" are our worst critic/enemy. As soon as realize this down in our bones we can become empowered...

    God bless & be encouraged!

    Dee
    1408 days ago
  • SWEETTOOTH712
    No one is perfect. Hang in there, it will get better.

    emoticon
    1408 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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