Sunday, January 11, 2015
Today is the worse day I have had in a long time. These words are my ramblings to myself and not meant to discourage anyone else. So please don't read this if you are having a bad day. Nothing here will motivate you.
I don't understand what went wrong?? I was going along pretty good even with not feeling the best. Stayed on my eating plan with Whole 30, just didn't get in my exercise. Then Friday night I got really sick and started throwing up. Had to take nausea meds and they knocked me out for over 16 hours. Up just long enough to call work and tell them I would not be in. When I did wake up the nausea was so bad all I could eat was crackers and Gatorade. After that it just went down hill. I was so hungry but everything I ate just made me sick. Then I just plain started to feel sorry for myself and the old self doubt and critic took over. I just couldn't seem to stop all the negative thoughts. I know I know all you have to do is just stop but it seemed like the harder I tried the worse my thoughts got. All I thought is you are never going to be any different so you might as well just quit trying. My thoughts instantly went to trying a different DIET.
I CAN'T DO THIS
I AM TO TIRED
I NEVER STICK TO ANYTHING
I WILL ALWAYS BE FAT
I CAN'T WIN
Well if you look at these words its no wonder I feel bad. All I am thinking about is me
Looking at the above I realize that most of my problems come from how I feel about myself. It is a self image problem. Until I come to love myself as I would any other person I will never change.
I want to thank the many Spark people who journal their thoughts about how they have come to love their bodies because they are helping me to realize how important that was to their transformation. Thank you Indygirl for you blog today.
Tomorrow is a new day and another chance for me to change my thought and actions.
Wait I don't have to wait till tomorrow. I can start right now.
I LOVE ME JUST WHERE I AM.
IT IS OK NOT TO BE PERFECT