What is food to me?
Friday, January 09, 2015
I posted this somewhere else on the site in response to a team question. I thought it was blog worthy enough to re-post on my page.
what is food to me?
Food to me is a lot of things. I found myself the other day Mad/Irritated/Hungry and telling my mom that she doesn't understand what I'm going through. She does, she is going through this with me. She gave up cigarettes and is dieting as well. At the time I was irate. I was telling her "You don't know what I am going through, I have nothing now! The only two things in life that bring me joy are smoking and eating! Now I've been told by the Dr I cant do either!" Thinking about that in retrospect, it kinda hurts that I have let myself get that/this far out of control. The hardest thing about food is you cant live without it. Cigarettes sucked to kick for a few days yes, but now that I'm done I'm done. Its easy to tell yourself you cant smoke ever again and just avoid them like the plague. Food is much different you need it to live! When you have an addiction or dependence on it to bring you happiness its bad. You can't just avoid it or steer clear of it you know, you are forced to look into yourself and actually work on the problem. I was married for 7 years. After a while my ex-wife turned into my eating buddy. Our "date nights" turned into where do you want to go for dinner and our outings and everything started to revolve around food. Where are we going to eat? No lets don't go there because I prefer this buffet better. That wasn't healthy. I don't know how long it is going to take to break those negative associations with food and change the way I perceive food. I hope its sooner rather than later. I have kicked drugs and alcohol in my past. Recently a 17 year affair with cigarettes real "addictions" and it isn't as hard as this I need a complete brain reprogramming when it comes to food. I am working on it a bit at a time though and I know I will move through it!