CYNTHIUSS
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Day 2 emotions seesawing..Make a Wish..

Thursday, January 08, 2015

I had no idea how much 'candy crush' and 'scramble with friends' kept my emotions at bay! When I was overwhelmed I zoned out in games, forgot I was overwhelmed and happily moved into my next tasks. Now I'm like a fish out of water floundering, reaching to munch and numb on salt, sugar, crunchy, I'm sad, hopeless, overwhelmed as I struggle with really hard things in my life. It's like a lost an anchor that was working to keep me from going nuts snacking when things got hard! I have to find a new anchor. I'm hoping spinning the spark wheel and journaling will help.
Good news 'Make a Wish' approved my 11 year old's wish to be a princess and dance with a prince!! It's sad because it makes me face how ill she is to qualify, but I've also teared up repeatedly in thankfulness for the program and Lexi getting her wish granted, she soo deserves such honoring of her life, she's fought so hard to stay alive....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CYNTHIUSS
    thank you all for your support
    emoticon
    1432 days ago
  • UUCEEJAY
    emoticon And hugs to your beautiful princess!
    1435 days ago
  • KALIGIRL
    So happy for your beautiful princess and wish you all the best as you reclaim your time and hers.
    1436 days ago
  • EVER-HOPEFUL
    oh love i wished i knew what i could say to make it not so.if you know what i mean.it is great that your princess will be a princess.but is said to know that to meet make a wish critieria that she is indeed ill.wish i was there to give you a hug love.it is hard for me to say to keep away from the snacking when i am doing it myself as i can´t be by my son at this moment when he needs me so.guilt,worry,fear can be more than enough to turn to food but in the long run we both know it doesn´t help,doesn´t change things in fact it makes it worse as we then feel guilty,weak and even ashamed.our children go through so much every day to do the things they do to live a normal life and we we do our best to ruin what is a normal life by not controlling our eating.we have to both start forgiving ourselfs for our actions and start finding new ways to cope with all our feelings and thoughts.know i am here for you love and you can always send me a spark mail when you want to get things good or bad off your chest it would go no further and i wouldn´t judge.i know i sometimes have thoughts that i hate myself for when i want to give up(not that i ever would)but they sometimes come and i then have the guilt to live with for that thought and have no one to share it with as theyy wouldn´t understand.theese thoughts are natural.will can´t be strong all the time even if we feel we should and that we can´t show weakness as it is not the done thing etc etc.forgive my babbling love .know you are not alone.it is a hard burden you are carrying but remeber it is a burden you are worthy of.what keeps me going in hard times is the thought that god wouldn´t give us anything he doesn´t thing we can´t handel.that gives me strength to know god has faith in me.it helps me find faith in myself as well.take care and keep smiling love. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1437 days ago
  • MAMAMOJO3
    emoticon
    1437 days ago
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