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yesturday started good but ended so so bad

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

yesturday morning i had my 6 months after my knee replacement check up in the hospital.it went good i am officialy crutches free.and unless i don´t have any pain etc in the next 6 weeks then he doesn´t want to see me for 6 months.if something does come up in the next 6 weeks he wants to see me in 3 months.so feeling good about that my cousin had sent me some money so i went and brought a new stability ball as i haven´t replaced mine when it broke a while back as well as 3 kettle bells a 2kg,a4kg and a 6kg. so like i said i was feeling really good.then yesturday evening got a call on skype to say that ayman had had an accident and they were at the hospital with him.i was imagineing allsorts till i eventually got to speak to lotfi(my arabisch leaves alot to be desired and his mother was also concerned so was hard to understand)apperantly ayman put his arm through a glass door.still not sure how that happened though.the glass took a good chunk off his skin off.apperantly he has a cut 10 cm long,2 cm wide and very deep.he was lucky in the fact that it just nipped his artery without breaking through it it was that close .because off how wide the stuck took out is they can´t sew it together so are treating it like a burn.they have a special burn bandage on it and lots of iodine.he has to have the bandage changed daily and has been given antibiotics,two types of painkillers one for in the day and a stronger painkiller for the night so he will sleep through it .because of the stress his asthma is also playing up.

here is a copy off a post i posted on one of my team chat threads today.

everything is going wrong that can go wrong,my son is in tunisia with his dad and he had a bad accident there.i am here in german with our two other children as their school starts tomorrow and we have a school plight here so i can´t go to tunisia and hmy son can´t fly here yet.should be home saturday night if all is well but i feel such a terrible mother being here while he is there in such pain.i know he is in good hands my husband is there ,his mother and father and my husbands sisters etc but it is still not the same as a mother,i am eating junk which i know in the long run wont help but can´t seem to stop i am even eating when not hungry i know it is wrong but i can´t seem to stop.i hate this ,how i let my feelings dictate my food choices i also hate thif feeling of helpfulness and hopeless ness re my son.sorry didn´t want to be a debbie downer.i should be grateful it isn´t worse and i really am but my feelings are still there.

so as you can see i am again letting emotional and stress eating rule.i have also broke my no soda streak which i am also not proud of.why is it when i know i shouldn´t be doing something i do it anyway.will i ever conquer this.on the plus side though at least i am aware i am doing it even as i do it so that must be good.now we have the worry that ayman wound doesn´t get infected.aöso i don´t know if this is going to affect his operation that got rescheduled to the 30th of this month.as i said till i get to hold ayman in my arms and really feel that he is ok i think i am going to have theese guilty feelings.

anyway thanks for letting me let off steam here and being there for me as usual.take care and keep smiling.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CTUPTON
    This is the place to blow off steam. It helps! Sorry to read about Ayman's accident. I eat when under such stress, too. I tell myself it won't help but I find it hard to stop. At least my mouth feels good for a little while.

    I read the later blog saying the wound is healing and the arm will be functional. Be thankful for blessings like this. chris
    1261 days ago
  • PRINCESSRIALS
    Oh honey, I'm so sorry to hear this! You are doing fine, considering what you are all going through. I've been in your shoes before, and it isn't fun. Just do what you need to do for yourself to get through until you have your baby boy back in your arms again. I love you and I'm here for you if you need to talk or scream or yell or vent or cry. I'm sorry I've been such a horrible and absent friend lately. I'm trying not to let that happen anymore!!!! Sending all of my love with many many many prayers!!!!!
    1284 days ago
  • CRYSALLIS1
    I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll keep you all in my prayers!
    1287 days ago
  • GHETTA
    Sorry to hear about the accident! What a terrible thing for both of you to have to endure.
    Just said a prayer for him and also for you. It is hard to not eat right at times like this, but you must keep well so that if he needs you, that you are able to help him. God bless both of you! Hugs,

    Ghetta emoticon
    1288 days ago
  • CIPHER1971
    emoticon

    cut yourself a break - you are a great mum, and no mum can be there for them all the time or they won't grow and mature into independent adults.

    Fingers crossed that he heals quickly with minimal scarring
    1289 days ago
  • DS9KIE
    wow wee a glass door did all that....I'm glad he is getting better....I bet you want just snap your fingers and be right there with him but he know you would if you could...he also knows how much you love him emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1289 days ago
  • THERESEERZ
    Inshallah lebes.. emoticon So sorry to hear about the accident. Hospital care is ok here as long as you have money for meds, etc.. I'm sure it will be fine, but I understand your worry of course.
    I know how easy it is to just give up and eat your emotions, I'm exactly the same. Just be kind to yourself, it's a difficult time and you need to NOT be hard on yourself right now. Continue with the exercising and try to make better choices but no self-hatred..
    Many hugs and I'm sure he will be fine. emoticon emoticon
    1289 days ago
  • LIFECHANGZ
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon ouch! so hope it heals well! I can so understand why you wish you could be there! (hugs)
    1289 days ago
  • MILLISMA
    It's so difficult when one of our children gets injured but even a worse feeling when you can't be there. You are a great mom and Ayman knows how much you care. My thoughts are prayers are with you. You have been doing so well and look how great things are with you knee. Try to think of how excited he will be when he comes home and sees how well you are doing!!!

    big hugs.....Mary Anne
    1290 days ago
  • ENTIRELYBEVERLY
    If you weren't upset by the whole thing, I'd worry about you being a MOM!! It's normal! It's natural! And you were blessed that it wasn't worse!

    Take a deep breath and deal with it as best you can!

    And we are here for you! Thanks for keeping us posted!

    HUGS!
    Beverly
    1290 days ago
  • MICKEYH
    So sorry to hear that ayman's accident. But also good to know it wasn't worth. You've been very worry for sure. But time like this, don't beat yourself up my dear. You can always get back in right direction and get back to the wagon. Sending prayers for you and your son. emoticon ***hugs***
    1290 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Sweetie, you are the best Mom you can be. Just can't be everywhere @ once. I know that feeling of wanting to be w/your child when they're injured from my experience w/my own DS, but just have faith, pray and know you have lots of support and prayers here.

    Glad nothing more serious happened with that incident. Sure could have been lots worse if he nicked the artery!
    1290 days ago
  • SAASHA17
    hugs!! Oh Karen..dont let the guilt eat u up...he is fine and will be home soon...Will have u and him in my thoughts and prayers..
    1290 days ago
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