Friday, January 02, 2015
I'm not really sure I can explain my absence from sparkpeople without using excuses but, I'm going to try. I'm pretty positive that the simple reason is because I was failing miserably and didn't want to be reminded of it. I fell on the excuse that I was too busy to follow any plan that required "work" and I couldn't fit it in to my already packed schedule. I let my exercise streak end, I barely drank enough water to make my goals, I didn't track my food and I focused on other things. My body tried to remind me that I needed to do all those things but I ignored it. My subconscious even tried to help out by nagging me at every bad decision but I simply didn't hear it. I even stopped speaking to my scale because I wanted to ignore the truth.
I GAVE UP ON MY JOURNEY TO A HEALTHIER ME. It was too much work and I had other things to take care of. I forgot why I had started changing my habits and let some bad ones slip back in. While I had kept drinking water, I didn't drink as much of it and I even let sweet tea's taste lure me back into its clutches. I was back to getting headaches when I skipped my daily 21 ounce cup so I just gave in and drank it every day.
I had to spend a whole lot of time reading for my classes so, whenever I had to wait for public transportation, my nose was in a book. I used to walk around the station or do some strength exercises while I waited just to keep up my streak of exercising but one day skipped became a week then a month and so on.
As for packing my lunch and eating breakfast at home, I failed to make the time to go grocery shopping so I ate out, A LOT. And I ordered whatever I wanted at the time, calming my inner voice by saying to myself that it was "just for today, tomorrow I'll eat better." Of course tomorrow never came. I also figured that I was fitting in some fruits and veggies so I was making some good choices however, the bad outweighed the good. And I was snacking like crazy after 8pm using the excuse that I needed the energy to stay awake to finish my homework.
While I'm upset to report that I have gained the 17 pounds I had lost plus an extra ten or so, I have finished school. I'm very proud to say that I have graduated from college with a B.A. in Psychology AND I made the Dean's list for my last semester. Since I managed to do that, I have realized that I CAN change my habits and I have made a plan to do so. In fact, I've already switched from sweet tea to brewed tea sweetened with stevia with the goal to cut it out for water like I have done before.
Some of my work has been made easier because my hubby got me a new lunch cooler with extra water bottles for Christmas. He even got me some containers with dividers so I can make my own salads and snacks to carry with me. It's his brand of support and I'll take it. My goal is to carry my lunch every day I work both to save money and calories. Of course I need to go to the grocery store first but I have the tools for success.
I restarted my exercise streak a few days ago while waiting for the bus. I might not always log it into the spark app but I am getting it done. And taking the train is a guaranteed 20 minute walk for me. I'm seeing some success here and I'm looking forward to less pain in my knees and ankles as I continue to move and stretch.
So my simple excuse of embarrassment and disappointment has been admitted and faced. Now I'm ready to move forward and take up my healthy journey again.