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ONE YEAR in Maintenance! Eek!!

Sunday, December 28, 2014

LONG POST ALERT! ONE Year in Maintenance....what a ride!

Wow! One year down in Maintenance! Holy crap. That pretty much sums it up. Holy crap I still can’t believe I lost the weight. Holy crap I can’t believe it’s been a year since losing the weight. And holy crap…maintenance is hard! Ha! Over and Over again I read success story after success story about how hard maintaining the loss was. How up to 80% of people who have lost significant amounts of weight put it back on, sometimes more , in 2 years. And honestly….i can totally understand that happening.

For a lot of us being overweight wasn’t because we were lazy…because we eat too much…okay…well those are partly true BUT it’s also a mental thing. Some trigger foods for me are like an alcoholic thinking, “oh I’ll just have 1 beer”. It doesn’t stop at one. Never does. And that’s why I tipped the scale at 293lbs. I was emotionally eating, I was overeating, I wasn’t getting any activity in. I just lost myself. I let my weight and food addiction take over and almost ruin my life. I’m still so grateful to my 293lb old self for taking that first step to get me to where I am now. She wanted something better. She wanted a life. And she gave that to me. I can run , I can play around with my nephews and niece without feeling like I’m going to die, I can….live. And after experiencing this new type of living I gotta admit….I am absolutely terrified of going back. I don’t want to be a statistic. I don’t want to be in that 80%. I don’t want that old life.

This year has been so different from any year of my life. I spent most of my life binge eating and feeling sorry for myself. Then I spent 2 + years trying to lose this weight and do it right. Last year was a year of goals. I was determined. I achieved. This year…well I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was in limbo. I was trying to set some small fitness goals to keep myself on track but I got lazy. I was starting to eat how I used to but then I’d catch myself and get back on track. It was a year of trying to figure out what to do with this new body, this new journey, this new life. It’s safe to say I bounced around 2-12 lbs all year. I”d have a bad few months then work it all off. Some may say that’s not a lot of weight considering how much I lost but to me it is because I worked SO hard to get 138lbs off. Hell I worked hard to get ONE pound off. And eventually those 5…7..12 lbs can become 15…20…50! It’s a slippery slope that I do not want to go down.

I’ve learned a lot this year about myself. About boundaries, weaknesses, and strengths. Nothing feels as great as when you go to bed proud of how you spent your day. That’s not just in regards to diet/exercise but really to everything. Were you kind? Were you patient? Did you do this day justice? This entire journey has been mentally, emotionally and physically draining and I’ve learned so much. I’ve reached things I NEVER thought I’d reach. As the year ends I’m looking back and learning from my mistakes and working to better myself in respects to my health and outlook on life. I lost a friend this year in an accident and it was a slap in the face to how short life can be. How it can all end in an instant. I’m trying to forgive my past, get excited about the future , but more importantly to LIVE in the present.

I don’t know guys. I mean…life is so amazing. It’s sad, its crazy, its exciting…its…a gift. I took a hold of mine and did something for myself to try and give myself MORE of life. I’m pushing myself to be healthier, to be active and to be an all around better person. Don’t dwell on the # on the scale. If I don’t like it , fix it. Don’t get mad over dumb things because theres so many GREAT things. If you want something….GET it. The world is yours. I know that sounds corny but it’s true.
So what can I say I learned most about my 1st year of maintenance?? I guess….I guess I can say I’ve learned to live. I’ve learned to appreciate

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TOMATOCAFEGAL
    How apropos. I am learning to live. Will get there
    426 days ago
  • FOODHEALER
    Hi Dawn thanks for sharing your story. Maintenance is living at goal weight. That takes the same determination as losing the weight. Please keep up posted on how you are doing this as this part of the journey is just as important. What happens next.
    1740 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15084726
    Hi Dawn, I just found your page when I was looking for motivation and reading this blog has really hit home! I am at the starting blocks with my weight loss, so to read your story is truly motivational. emoticon

    I love how you set goals and met them. You make it seem easy, although I am sure it wasn't! I also love that you are not just focussed on the jeans size, but also on your renewed ability to make the most of life. Maintenance sounds very tough, but you need to remind yourself daily how amazing you are and how much you have achieved.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story and all the very best for your continued maintenance journey. emoticon emoticon
    2083 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15169916
    Hi Dawn,
    I just stumbled upon your Sparkpage while I was looking around, and boy am I happy I did! I am amazed at your journey and what you have accomplished. When I read stories like your, it gives me 100% hope that all things are possible. I think there was a time, I was wondering if I believed in myself enough to start this journey. Something happened at the end of December, I found Sparkpeople, and have been motivated with a capital "M" ever since! I added you as a friend, and even though you are in maintenance, I hope you continue to be on the site to continue to INSPIRE so many folks that need to witness change is possible!

    Warmly, Nancy in Kansas emoticon
    2147 days ago
  • OHMEMEME
    Awesome story! Congrats on maintenance! Thanks for sharing!

    Maintaining is a hard road but sooooo worth it. I just keep telling myself that I know too much now to ever go back to where I was. I fall but continue to get back up. You can do this. You are doing it!!!
    Best wishes for a new year and the wedding planning!

    Keep Sparking!
    2155 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15145828

    You should be SO PROUD of yourself. I'm sure I'm at least old enough to be your mother (probably your grandmother, LOL) but you already have more wisdom than I do!

    I know you will keep the weight off for the long haul. Learning what living a good life, without "food as drug of choice" - magnificent.


    Sue
    2157 days ago
  • ARUNNINGKAT
    This blog is so heartful and awesome! And it is also a huge inspiration to me as I am right now working on what I want to achieve this next year, what actually living life looks like to me. Life is short and precious, and I am seeing some areas in my life where I have regrets and I want to stop that right now. Anyway! Bravo on a great year, a successful year! A year of living life with all its ups and downs! Thank you for your example!
    2157 days ago
  • NIKKICOLE83
    This blog is so inspiring. I appreciate your honesty too because I was one of those people that thought losing weight would instantly fix things, but it doesn't. We eat because we are trying to stuff away something and we have to deal with that or else we will be one of those statistics who gain it back and more. I am not yet at my goal weight, I don't even know what that is, and after losing weight and gaining half of it back, I am realizing how much of a gift each pound loss really is.
    2157 days ago
  • LAILATN
    What an achievement! And thanks for sharing your story.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2158 days ago
  • TENNISJIM
    Awesome. Congrats
    2158 days ago
  • MJREIMERS
    How emoticon ! I can relate that maintenance is hard. I wish I could say it get easier...some days are, but some days aren't. It is all worth it in the long run! Keep at it. I know you will continue to do well. Together emoticon and keep doing it!
    2158 days ago
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