the harm of "getting over it"
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
fairly certain I have, hmm, "ranted" about the phrase "get over it" before but it seems just to keep cropping up...
so, let the roller-coaster begin...
fault, i grew up thinking that it was a positive thing for one to be considerate of others. I thought it was a desirable notion to be a person who really thinks about what they say and thinks about how other people respond to what they do and say. to attempt not to harm anyone with words but somehow manage to be truthful about your own feelings and perceptions. To be honest with people, only curbing yourself in an attempt not to hurt others and to reflect on your own feelings and would have been words to try to understand why something you MIGHT have said could have harmed someone else, and use that to try to understand what that might mean about yourself. Reflecting, something I learned in church... odd that. Really THINKING about interactions with: other people, animals, earth, space, the cosmos, okay maybe that is going too far... maybe not. Trying to understand, when you are working as a cashier in a gas station, someone whom you have never seen before for some reason, when you tell them not to worry about the size of their coffee refill because there is just one price for a refill, relates you to "trying to be Hitler" ((NO, SERIOUSLY, that is what the guy said)), tells you to shut up, then, inexplicably, tells you that you should "relax its the holidays", trying to understand how in H _ LL that makes any sense at all..... reflecting... and trying to figure out just what it is about your self, gas station cashier, that made this guy liken you to one of the biggest-most-famous-lying-psyc
hotic-homophobic-hating POOP heads that has ever roamed this rock ((( and whom I have NO FONDNESS FOR, to say the least))), reflecting on your self and trying to figure out, why? Why would this random, guy, start saying some ish like that when you were just trying to tell him its a one size fits all coffee refill... and then someone says something really helpful , while you are trying to understand what about your self likens such a historical A$$ whole, ... someone gives you prize advice like "get over it".
I don't want to "get over it", I want to understand why someone who has only heard me say "Don't worry, no size, just a refill" then likens me to .... uh, really, that guy... ?
This hasn't been my only GOI moment. Since moving Northeast, GOI seems to be synonymous with: "I am not listening to you", "I really couldn't care less", "I really would rather complain about my workday than listen to you", "No one cares you got laid off.... even if they were telling you that you did good work, and they were happy to have you as an employee", "I have better things to do that worry about how you are going to make ends meet", "I'd rather be sleeping now", "I, frankly, don't give a damm"... see how that works.
Okay. I know I sound like a complete self centered jerk, maybe I am....
Lets see if I can sum up what I trying to say here. I mean, if you don't care about you then who does? If you are sick and you don't take care of yourself who is going to? Maybe it isn't self-centered but a scattered, weak, misguided attempt at self-preservation. But trying to be mindful, and caring as well. But honestly, at times, getting tired of caring about others when they don't seem to care about me, which... is just turning me into a bitter closed off adult..... wow, at the snowballs.
So, I try, to understand how other people see me, but when I start ruminating about what made that guy say something so terrible, and compare me, whom he just met, at a gas station checkout line, there were no "hello's" if that matters, to someone who is beyond words terrible, what about me makes people think these things about me, and if I just "get over it" and not think about things like this POOF! I instantly turn into a thoughtless uncaring jerk, who is easily likened to ..... that guy.
--- moral: telling someone to get over it is sometimes like asking someone to walk through walls and leaves as many bruises when attempted repeatedly.