Thursday, December 04, 2014
I took the past year and a half off SparkPeople. I was working on mindful eating, learning to listen to my body, eat when I was hungry, stop before I was full, eat a wide variety of foods (mostly home cooked and hopefully nothing too processed), and learning other ways to manage stress and emotions other than with food.
I was doing alright with it until my mom was diagnosed with cancer in February. Between that and work and moving I had about 4 months of total stress eating and I weighed more than ever before in my life (202ish).
Then I found out mid June (2 days after moving into a new place) my hubby and I are expecting our first child. And then I got sick - nausea and vomiting of pregnancy is WAY more accurate than "morning sickness" - and I wasn't able to eat much of anything and couldn't keep it all down if I didn't take my meds. But I was finally forced to start REALLY listening to my body and was unable to stress eat.
Then my momma died in August. I spent 6 weeks learning how to grieve and let out my emotions when I needed to before I stopped making myself even sicker. I lost 15 pounds between finding out I'm pregnant and my birthday in mid-September (11ish weeks). You're not supposed to lose weight when you're pregnant, even if you start with 60 extra pounds. I learned that I was making myself sicker by not letting out and acknowledging my grief. I started taking better care of myself emotionally, and between that and being in the 2nd trimester, I started feeling better, sleeping a little better, and gained back half the weight I'd lost.
I had about 10 weeks of feeling pretty good and haven't felt quite right the last 2-3 weeks. Then I learned why: I was just diagnosed with gestational diabetes. At least I only have 11 weeks left, but it's going to be a massive shift compared to how I've been eating. The meal plan is very specific and very strict and it doesn't matter if I'm hungry or not or craving specific foods or not (unless I'm craving vegetables, which, fortunately, I have been).
My job now is to eat 3 meals a day and 3 snacks a day. Eat 1800 calories, 147 g of carbs or less, 50 g of fat or less, and 87 g of protein or more. None of the carbs can come from sweets. (I've never made it through the holidays without sweets before. This is going to suck) My job is also to walk for 15 minutes after every meal, test my blood sugar levels 1 hour after every meal as well as first thing in the morning, and report my blood sugar values to my doctor every week. I also get to go see the doctor even more often (cuz that's been so much fun already).
Between my mom's diagnosis, moving to a new place, mom's death, being super sick in the first 4 months of my pregnancy, and having a bajillion doctor appointments, I'm totally out of my paid time off at work (we have "paid personal leave" or ppl, which is one pool for vacation and sick leave). I will have to take some time unpaid this week, and probably next week, as well. Add in the fact that America is the ONLY developed country in the world that doesn't have paid maternity and paternity leave and you get the idea that finances are going to be tight. So there's that stress too, which I'm trying not to worry about.
Anyway, I'm off to eat my lunch and take a walk before the rain starts up again. I don't own a rain coat that'll fit over a 6.5 months pregnant belly. :)