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Vanity

Thursday, November 20, 2014

So I posted a blog last night that I deleted this morning, because I woke up thinking about it and how grumpy and vain I must seem, complaining about pimples and wrinkles.

I wonder if this is just my mind's way of sticking it to me- I'm slowly but surely losing weight emoticon and now I'm taking a closer look in the mirror than ever before. lol. Now it's wrinkles, and pimples, this shirt is too big or is that a grey hair!? emoticon

I laugh. to keep from crying. lol. What is it about women that makes us so self-conscious, whereas a man (or at least mine.lol) can have a grease stain on his shirt and be all "Cool. Let's go out. I'm ready!" emoticon

Anyway, I'm standing taller (don't know if that's pride or better muscles. lol) so I need to chill. I may end up an old saggy, wrinkly mess. But i'll be a WALKING saggy, wrinkly mess. And that. is. everything.
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  • RADOOGA
    That's so funny. I came to this blog post as I'm friends with Holierthanthou, and wanted to see what her response was, as I'd just posted a similar 'woe is me' type blog, and then kicked myself for being so stupid!

    It is hard, to see wrinkles appear, that weren't there before, but when you really think about it, the people that you love and cherish, do you think 'I'd love them just a little bit more if they had a few less wrinkles?', no, of course not. My darling mum aged beautifully. She hated her wrinkles, but I loved them, every time she laughed, her eyes would crinkle, just as mine do now, and I'm sure yours do.

    We're conditioned to want to look pretty, I suppose it is just what constitutes pretty that is important to us. You are obviously a strong woman, and that must shine through your face.

    I hope you learn to love your new look, I'm certainly trying to love mine x
    2087 days ago
  • NEKOCHARM
    Did you say grumpy and vain? Oh. You must be talking about me then. emoticon

    I don't know, Sparky. We all have our moments, especially when it comes to vanity. I think it's pretty normal for those of us who are on a weigh loss journey. Look around you... Have you noticed how many women start the journey not caring too much about their appearance? And then after they've lost some weight, they start wearing more fashionable clothes, and start putting on makeup. I don't know if that's because they're feeling better about themselves or they're doing the closer scrutinizing thing. Perhaps it's a little of both, but I think many of us do it.

    Don't get hung up on the (possible) grey hair or the new sag where there used to be fullness. You're giving yourself a wonderful gift by losing weight and getting healthier. I think that's what we need to concentrate on. And I'm telling you this because I really need to hear it myself. I'm notoriously bad at this. emoticon
    2089 days ago
  • 62ANDWINNING
    Yeah, being thinner is awesome, but it still doesn't make us perfect. I look great in clothes, but as a 57 year old former 300# woman, I have a saggy, baggy elephant body! emoticon
    2091 days ago
  • HOLIERTHANTHOU
    My gay male friends, not all, but many, have spent much of their lives value-ing the superficial. It's been all about house music and chest-waxing. These guys are having a very hard time with ageing. They triple their wardrobe costs, buy $400 jars of face-cream, hire personal trainers, get regular Botox injections, spend a fortune every 6 weeks at the "in" hair-dresser, etc ... I adore them, but they put all their eggs in the wrong basket for most of their lives and now as they age, they are paying for it in angst and fear.

    I can't really say the same about my women friends. I don't know any women who are the equivalent of these gay men. My women-friends tend to be wise and ironical. Yes, of course, vanity comes into it. I am personally as vain as heck! Truly. But I have made it a point all my life to collect role models, women role models, alive and dead, who to a degree show me how I want to live and who I want to be. Not one of them is "about" wanting to stay pretty, although some of them are so damned beautiful it hurts, even in their 80s and 90s. I notice that you live in Albuquerque (spelling?). Have you LOOKED at Georgia O'Keeffe lately? She makes wrinkles and grey hair HOT. And what an extraordinary human being she was. People like her give me the courage to go on. I think what we value ends up being so definitive of who we are. It sure warrants some thought and consideration. I guess those of us who are vain, as I certainly am, had better get busy re-defining what or who we consider beautiful. Because time is merciless and also so short. I want to live a happy and satisfied life with both myself and others in the time that I have left here.

    I am super P-O-ed that I missed your deleted blog! I am always late for things.
    2092 days ago
  • BUTTONPOPPER1
    Remember when you were little and barely aware that you even had a body? I mean, you were normal and your body worked so well that you forgot about it and you weren't yet conscious that you would someday have to do things to it to make it conform to society's standards of beauty? Ah, those were the days! I ran around barefoot outside all day long, looking for lizards and garter snakes, with not a thought about what I looked like! Today, too, I often think how much I would prefer to be just a pair of eyes and a body that I never think about. But to be a member of the human race we're required to wear a body, and it's not possible to completely forget about our appearance--for one thing, we'd lose our jobs due to bad grooming!

    What I'm trying to say is that I completely agree with your conclusion here that we should strive to be less self-conscious and a little more like (but not TOO much like) Mr. Grease Stain. It's hard to get the right balance between all these different things-- paying attention to our outward appearance, improving health, and growing spiritually. All these things are important, and there's only so much time!

    From my point of view, you've got your priorities right.
    2092 days ago
  • A_RARE_BEAN
    I didn't see the blog, but seriously, whats so wrong with being grumpy once in a while or even vain once in a while (I doubt you were though), you is human innit, all emotions are acceptable, so Dr Seuss says, since you know 'those that matter don't mind' emoticon and as you can see, we don't mind, not one little bit

    If we do it right, we are all gonna end up saggy, wrinkly sacks lol, it's why we're in this game no? longer life and a body well lived in, so we have the energy to go on.... and on.... and on.... long after gravity has taken the rest! You're alright chica, everyone has those days, and you are doing great on the weightloss
    2092 days ago
  • _BABE_
    I guess being overweight preoccupies me now and the idea that when the fat is gone I will be happy is a myth......maybe.

    Wrinkles are wrinkles and anyone who thinks staying fat will stave them off is just fooling themselves.

    Losing weight is the fountain of youth in my opinion and I know that it will be one less thing to worry about in terms of appearance.

    emoticon
    2092 days ago
  • DESERTDREAMERS
    Ah, darn. I almost read that blog before I went to sleep last night. Have you seen the ads for the real-body Barbie? She comes with acne & stretch marks stickers. I'd have to add more wrinkles, and batwings. I'm hoping my batwings will evolve so I can fly! Walk tall, my friend!
    2092 days ago
  • NETGYRL
    Girl! I hear you! I used to avoid looking in mirrors because my face was so fat, now I'm thinking of avoiding them because it's getting too saggy and wrinkly. :) Why didn't I choose to lose the weight 10 years ago....? yadda yadda. It's a bad road to go down. I just know I will feel better the smaller I get so like you said I maybe saggy and wrinkly but at least I will be in a size 12! (hopefully!) :) /hugs
    2092 days ago
  • GHK1962
    I saw that blog last night - but didn't comment on it.

    So this one today - agrees with TWESTEN1 ... but will add -

    Whether you believe it's human nature, or the evil media machine that makes people question their bodies, it is something that happens. Perhaps over time things will change for society. I dunno.

    But for ourselves, perhaps the thing we can do is to say, "Ok, I did a bad self talk," then realize it for what it was and move on. And perhaps ... we can start to lessen the overly critical eyes and talk over time. Maybe it happens once a day. Then maybe we try to say, "Ok, I will only let this happen every other day." To perhaps once a week. And so on. Until one day we rarely do that. I guess, many have been conditioned to be too self critical over the course of their life - perhaps we just need to unlearn that...and it just takes time I think.

    Ok ... enough preaching from me. Seriousness is not my strength.

    So I will end this with - The only reason our shirts may be greasy is because we know y'all don't want us going out with greasy hands. So we were trying to be considerate and wipe them off!
    2092 days ago
  • TWESTEN1
    We are so frickin' hard on ourselves. It is RIDICULOUS... but I hear everything you're saying. I just want to be happy, you know? And so many things about my appearance can ruin a mood... or even a day... it's just so wrong. Personally, knowing you from online first... you could be a huge pimply, wrinkly, mess and I'd still think you were crazy beautiful - because to me, you are (the beautiful part!).
    2092 days ago
  • HEYRED221
    Bummer!!! I was so looking forward to reading about your wrinkles and pimples. emoticon

    Have an awesome day,

    Carolyn emoticon
    2093 days ago
  • ROBBIEY
    emoticon emoticon
    2093 days ago
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