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It depresses me...

Thursday, November 13, 2014

That I've only been on here since July (?) I think, and already some of my friends have gone by the wayside. I only realized today that there's a "Welcome Back!" emoticon on Spark. emoticon

I don't always rock it. Actually, most times I don't. And I quit the first time I was on here, but only because I didn't put myself out there enough to make friends, know people, feel things.

And again, to be honest, there are times I'm writing blogs, or reading blogs, or responding to or writing comments when I should be working out. Tallying up my food intake for the day. Looking up recipes or new exercises.

But there are also days when your support means the difference between a salad or a brownie sunday. Or two.

Seriously. You people keep me sane. Or sane-ish (it's all relative, right? emoticon ).

Whatever you do, don't...LEAVE. It speaks of disconnect, of laziness, uncaring, or embarrassment- none of which you should feel on Spark, of all places.

Maybe you don't feel you get ENOUGH replies- well, put yourself out there and see what happens!

Maybe you feel you get TOO many- ok, then focus, and find out what people, comments, ideas- really FEED you.

But don't just leave. I tell my kinders all the time (and it's lame, but true) Quitters never win, and Winners never quit.

Please don't quit.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    If you ever feel like you've lost track of me, please send me an email or something. I missed a bunch of your blog posts. I guess I'll have to start subscribing to blogs. And for goodness' sakes, please come back to Wolves for the Winter? emoticon Even if you just weigh in, make jokes, and do nothing else. I'm so involved with my teams now (yeah, who is to blame for that? what did I sign up for? and who has a problem with the word NO emoticon ) that my friends who aren't on the team, who I want to keep up with, unless they tap me on the shoulder...well, people who can't say no sometimes have their brain say no for them.
    2094 days ago
    You know what depresses me, I subscribed to your blog but I don't seem to be getting the email. I'll hit thedamn button again. I am here for life I do believe. My mom joined spark people in the spring but only used this place to track food, she never set up a page or engaged with anyone...not even me. emoticon
    She has lost 30 or 40 lbs and I am very glad for that, especially since it means she will not be needing the diabetes meds.
    But I fear for her, the last time I asked she said she hadn't been on spark in a while, which means she is not tracking. She has done this so many times. She loses 30 or 40 lbs in 6 months and then goes back to her old ways.
    No one besides my husband has really commented on my weight loss, my parents have not noticed. but I feel like ...I'm rambling...sorry...I don't mind that they haven't noticed because I know I have more work to do here. And when I reach my goal the work will not be done here. This is my support network, and despite my efforts on my own, I have never succeeded in staying committed before I got involved with the sparkpeople community. I wish there was some way to convey this to mom, but I am afraid she is someone you cant tell what to do about anything.
    2095 days ago
  • _BABE_
    I stick around and have participated to varying degrees over the years.

    What depresses me is that people support me only after I have been busy propping them up...the minute my attention slips off because maybe I am not feeling all that chipper all I hear is crickets.

    So I maintain my membership for the resources.
    2096 days ago
    Sparky, you may not have the title "leader", but you are one, just the same.
    2096 days ago
    I started SP July 30, 2014. I was aggravated with my weight, weak muscles and body composition. I believed everyone was going to quit on me, hell even my dietician quit and moved away after two months, so that is what my experiences had taught me in regard to a weight loss journey. Count On No One!

    My cousin signed me up for Spark People. I didn't even do it myself. I didn't think it would work, but knew that if I tried and failed I would not be contested. I was in a dark place. I had pretty much made up my mind that Spark People was it, I was going to throw myself into the community 100%, I was going to force it to work, and if it didn't work to hell with it all I was not going to try again on my own. I'd just stay fat until I could afford to hire someone who had no choice but to help me.

    That's what I did too, I came on SP like a raging bull, made friends joined groups. I was everywhere.
    But by October I was over whelmed with all I had done. Guilt was high if I was unable to respond and the constant replying cut into my exercise time so it was starting to become counter productive.

    What I found was that I had put all this pressure on myself not my new friends, there was no reason to slink away and quit for fear of disappointing them because my friends were all cool with the fact that I have a life outside their computer monitors. I no longer talked to everyone every day but when I did I started telling them not only about my weight loss efforts but about me and my life and that's when we started becoming friends.

    I have to echo the point of this blog.... Don't Quit. I've seen people just evaporate over time, I think it's sad that they just pop out of my life and I have no say in the matter. I will never know what has become of them...
    2096 days ago
    This time around...I stuck around. It's been nothing short of a miracle. You meet the quitters in the "real" world, too, but just like here, they are not a part of your life for very long. My Start page shows that my log on streak is 146 days. Me...I'm here for the long haul. So very happy that you are a part of my Spark "life".
    2096 days ago
    I really love being here with my circle of friends on Spark. As I've written on my own and others' pages, I was lonely for a very long time over here in my self-imposed exile before discovering the community here at Spark. Now, I really do have something to look forward to every day.

    One of my main concerns, however, is that for a while it was becoming a new addiction for me. Really--I could sit here all day typing. It is endlessly fascinating and fulfilling to communicate with other members. So I've been a little worried about losing focus on my family and work, which, when I'd rather be Sparking, I sometimes see as IN THE WAY! That's not fair to my loved ones or my students.

    Only now, after several months (maybe I joined the community just slightly before you did), have I started to put limits on my SparkTime. Even so, I could still sit here all day today (Saturday, no job) and happily write, read, and respond to blogs. It's the most fun and meaningful activity I've engaged in for a very long time. I can't imagine leaving, and I'm so glad to be here with you and my other friends!
    2097 days ago
    I find it amazing that folks on here are so supportive that even when I am feeling like a slug who just can't get my act together my Spark friends are ready to cheer me on! I would have given up on this many, many times if it were not for the support I get on here. If I do decide to let this go at some point, I am telling my future self to write a post and EXPLAIN my decision; and I prefer to think I will hit "pause", not "delete."

    Thanks for bringing up this subject!
    2097 days ago
    I think that is why I have tried to keep a smaller friend set. It's easier to see who is here & who might need encouragement. Yeah, I've had a bunch of friends disappear as well... what saddens me are the ones who leave b/c they feel like they are a failure & want to walk off quietly and hope no one notices.

    But we do notice. It's easy to get attached to our friends here, because we are a group of encouragers. What's best are the friends who TRULY become your spark friends - those who aren't afraid to give you a smack down when you need it ~ who aren't afraid to speak the truth, lovingly! I think those friends become ones that you do not lose. At least I hope that that is the truth.
    2097 days ago
  • GHK1962
    Ahhh, I will take a somewhat different approach in my answer today.

    Because sometimes I think people have to leave. It'd be nice if they mentioned it. But I know sometimes people can't I myself left for a bit ... work and the world took a hold of me. But I keep coming back. Some of the vanishers will make it back - like SMNB and A_Rare_Bean. Some will not. Both have mentioned some pretty true things about disappearing.

    You went awol for a bit too. And came back. And now you are back even stronger right?

    So, when friends leave ... when you left ... perhaps it is a way to also get back on track.

    Hmmm ... I am not making sense here - part of what I am trying to say is that some will slip off ... and that's ok. They will have still made an impact in your life, and you theirs.

    And never think you were a failure - you are back here now. And when you keep trying, that is success. You are doing good Dino friend
    2097 days ago
    I have often told people that Spark is a huge community of the most supportive people you will ever meet - I do not feel it is like a weight lost site in that you are following a particular program because we are all doing what works the best for us in that area - but supporting each other through ups and downs during that journey. Without the support of this site - I know my weight loss efforts and motivation would already been put off to the side! emoticon

    emoticon Limom2twins emoticon

    2097 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/14/2014 10:18:10 AM
    I am glad you wrote today Sparky. You speak from your heart and you don't mince I know I almost pulled a disappearing act as I was so full of sadness and didn't think anyone needed to deal with that. Yet, I would be the first to be there for others. BUT YOU and Sheryl said a thing or two that made me realize I would be even sadder had I left. You didn't use those words but that is what I realized. Why if I am sad would I add to that sadness by removing something else from my life that I love and appreciate. WHICH is all of you! So...I stayed and I am glad I did. We can't be here day in and day out and we do have to get other things done, like you said, your activity, your tracking, your family and friendship world and other obligations. Of course we will not be as active at various times but we do not have to LEAVE. A quick hello still says I am here and I care and how the heck are you! So thanks for the blog and wise words sweet friend. You are funtastic! xoxo emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2097 days ago
    Id say about 2/3rds of my friends list is inactive and I don't have an 'original' friend left since I started here 7 years ago. I 'quit' spark for 2 years, it wasn't really a conscious decision stuff happened and it was the furthest thing from my mind,weight loss that is, but what made me even think about coming back was the faithfullness of just one of my sparkfriends. For the full TWO years she sent me messages and goodies, never knowing if id come back and I seldom replied not because I was an ass but because life was overwhelming me, I was always grateful though and that spark was being kept alive reminding me that the bonds we make here are real and this is a wonderful place.

    I think what I'm trying to say in this long ramble is that people will come and go and some will come back, but whether they stay or go our time here together does make an impact and that's kinda why I don't prune my friends list and still send messages out into the wind as I hope wherever they are they doing ok and as was done for me I can leave a 'light on' in the window ready to use the welcome back emoticon should the person ever wish to try the site again ;) you have a big heart sparky, emoticon emoticon
    2097 days ago
    I am not sure how I would handle not having my tracking.
    Glad you are sticking to it. emoticon
    2097 days ago
    I've had a couple of friends that would keep changing their sign-on names. Frustrating, because unless they thought to Email me, I wouldn't know where they went. I'd wonder where they went, then get an Email or comment on a blog. Finally lost them. 😥
    2097 days ago
    I love it, Sparky! "Quitters never win, and Winners never quit." What words if wisdom! Just so you know, I ain't goin' anywhere. Life has just been a non-stop whirlwind these days, and I feel like I'm barely hanging on by the skin of my teeth. You know how it is sometimes, huh?

    After reading your post, I just had to leave a quick comment to tell you that you're so special to me. If I left you guys now it would feel like I was abandoning my family. Once things calm down over here, I'll be around more. {{HUGS}}
    2097 days ago
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