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When do you get...old?

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

So! The other day I was driving around in my car, listening to Gwen Stefani and wearing my grey hoodie with my Nightmare Before Christmas gloves with the fingers cut off, and I had a thought...



I could have been doing the EXACT SAME thing 20 years ago. emoticon



So, being my usual self, I raided my hubby's ear about this conundrum. Am I immature? Is this normal?


When do you get to be...old?


Now, not 'my daughter is 11 and thinks I'm old' (which she doesn't..yet. thank God).


But old. You know what I'm talking about.


Now, I have Spark friends of a certain age, but they're online...Sparkin', and have interesting lives, so I don't think that really applies.

When I was growing up, I was listening to Nine Inch Nails, The Cure, Depeche Mode.

I'm still listening to Nine Inch Nails, The Cure, Depeche Mode. Of course that's peppered with other musical talents- Imagine Dragons, a smattering of Taylor Swift, KONGOS, Pink, etc...

But I've noticed I don't always dress...'cool'. I've never always dressed cool, but my dress of lately has seemed a little less racy than before. Mind you, I still rock the school girl gear ( I looove my husband. lol) and other various outfits, but as for my day-to-day dress....

maybe I'm lame and it has nothing to do with age?

This sh*t is BANANAS. B, A, N, A, N, A, S.

Seriously, is there a point where you just don't care? Dress however and go back to listening to what you loved in your teens, twenties? Dress in what's comfortable to you...now??

I'm not ready to bust out any mumuus , but I am very , very curious. I don't see 70 year old women dressed like Madonna. but I hear a lot of 'Free Bird' running around.

Is there something wrong with me- like I haven't acquired the 'age' gene yet? I am absolutely the cool teacher at school, but it's not because I dress the part. I can quote Sinatra- nobody knows THAT sh*t. I know who Mama Cass is on old Scooby episodes. I asked some kid the other day about his R2D2 lunchbox and he was like whaaa?

Is there a point, when you get old...feel old, and don't care about what anyone else is doing? Because maybe that's my problem- I'm 39 and I don't care now. Is that why I don't get it?

Or am I just immature and un-evolved??

The hubby says I'm over-thinking it. Maybe I am, but I really want to know. Is there a point where you say screw all coolness, and just do your own thing-cool or not? and how does that come about??

Thanks for your input!




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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MENAHARKER
    Screw coolness!

    Who gets to decide what's cool and what isn't. I'm me, i'll always be that, just me. Today my hair is red, tomorrow it maybe purple or black, blonde even maybe natural brown. Who knows?

    Do I wear what kids in my high school in the 80's were wearing, now? Hell No, there was a time for denim jackets, parachute pants, white slouchy socks and Neon everything... that was then, this is now. Styles change, so does your body and your outlook of what looks good on you.

    My style is very eclectic, why pigeon hole yourself. Today I might be in a happy bunny T-shirt and jeans, tomorrow maybe a summer dress and the next day in all black like I just stepped out of Hot Topic.

    My point, you may have evolved into a parent, wife, co-worker but you still kept your sense of self, you know what you like and it would be uncool of anyone to try to pressure you into fitting in with what's suppose to be cool by today's standards.

    In my opinion your old when you give up fighting to be you and start being what everyone tells you that you should be. Conforming means you've given up and your an old fart. So let your Rebellion flag fly!
    2119 days ago
  • NEKOCHARM
    "... am I just immature and un-evolved??" On the contrary, my friend - I think you HAVE matured. I think the more comfortable you are in your own skin, the less it matters to be trendy and fashionable. It's funny because I just talked to Rob about this a few days ago. Which should come as no surprise to you, since lately it seems we are on the same wavelength! lol

    Rob thinks the age gap between generations is closing. It isn't as blatant as it once was because a lot of things that used to define the age gap like technology, music, movies, etc are not quite as stark as they were. I'd have to agree with him.

    I agree with your other buds - being yourself (and true to yourself) IS cool. And while we're on the subject, playing the devil's advocate here - IF you were immature and un-evolved... does it really matter?? I mean, who's going to chase you down and force you to 'grow up' and 'be an adult'? I think being young of mind and heart is much preferable to that. emoticon

    Also, I'm learning that the labels we put upon ourselves are VERY important. They WILL determine how we feel about ourselves, and that will spread into all areas of our lives like wildfire, be it good or bad. Instead of thinking that you may be 'immature', how about viewing yourself in more positive terms like energetic, optimistic, invincible, and vibrant? And no, you're not 'un-evolved' - you're youthful!

    2120 days ago
  • BUTTONPOPPER1
    Hey Sparky. I don't think about age much except when I'm in a lot of age-related (or weight-related) pain. I used to be so energetic and never needed to rest during a long day. So I feel age as a physical limitation, but I appreciate age for all the wisdom I've gained. I have so often thought, "I wish I could go back to college with my eighteen-year-old body and the soul that I have now." I would savor every moment in the classroom, soaking it all in and never be satisfied, instead of thinking only about my boyfriend and how fat or thin I was. I don't like physical aging. Remember Bette Davis' words: "Old age ain't for sissies." But I am glad I didn't die young, because I am so much more spiritually developed than I used to be.

    You're young in a very good way, Sparky.
    2120 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/15/2014 9:15:22 PM
  • SPEDED2
    To quote George Burns, "I can do anything now that I could do at 18. Which shows you just how pathetic I was at 18." emoticon

    Age has nothing to do with doing your own thing...just be yourself...always!
    emoticon


    2120 days ago
  • POCKETFULOFSUN
    Every year we go to the same small agricultural fair and run into people I grew up with ...or their kids or their kid's kids and that makes me realize how old I am, but this is the only concept I have that I may be getting "old"

    ...I am with you on the loud music out of car window. I bet I will be doing that banging the steering wheel till they take my license away. "The beautiful people--the beautiful people awwwwwwww"
    2120 days ago
  • THELILEA
    I think you were awesome 20 years ago, and you still ARE. Being "cool" to me is being who you really are, and loving it. BE YOU!! It's awesome. :D
    2121 days ago
  • HEYRED221
    I believe we reach a certain age where we just don't care. And THAT is cool! I still dress the same way I always have for the most part - jeans and a t-shirt. I'm 49 and when I see others my age, most seem old to me. The way they dress, hair, etc. I feel way younger and have no intention of conforming to what others think. By the way, I listen to a wide variety of music, but get especially happy when I hear stuff like AC/DC's - Highway to Hell, etc. - ah, the wonderful high school memories :-) But I also have the Dixie Chicks, Amy Winehouse, Robin Thicke, Pharrell, Matisyahu, Los Lobos, etc etc - my taste is all over the place..

    Carolyn
    2121 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/15/2014 3:16:32 PM
  • NETGYRL
    Don't ask me, I am still waiting to grow up. I was never the "cool kid" anyway. :)
    2121 days ago
  • TWESTEN1
    Great - now I have a certain Nine Inch Nails song stuck in my head - thanks for that!!!

    Well, since you are a baby to my advanced old age or 46 - I say to hell with it! My mom has been telling me for years that I need to cut my hair short b/c I'm getting older ~ wtf? I will keep it longer til I die, if I so choose! My daughter (at 14) does think I'm old but all her friends think I'm cool .... okay now, who wouldn't?!!! So I think it truly has everything to do with personality and how old you allow yourself to get/act/feel. This is why we need to move closer to each other ~ you & your bad self would ALWAYS keep me young.... though if you kept dressing in the school girl outfits, Ed might forget all about mermaids & well, you know!
    2121 days ago
  • 62ANDWINNING
    I am 57. I listen to music from the 50s-80s. I like it. Not into the newer stuff, but then, neither are either of my daughters at 24 and 33. I dress.... well it depends on my mood. Sometimes it is leggings and a long sweater, sometimes jeans, today dress pants and a sweater. I felt like an adult at 5, so it is just my make-up, but do I feel "old"? Not usually. If I focus on years, it might impact my mood, but not by a whole lot.

    Of course, much of my outlook on age might have something to do with having grandparents and great grandparents who lived to late 90s and 100s. In fact, my grandmother has fought going into an assisted living center because she doeesn't want to be around " all those old people". She is 103! emoticon
    2121 days ago
  • STILLMENEWBODY
    How we dress isn't as much to do with age as it is taste in clothing and style. I have seen very young people dress in clothing I would picture an older person wearing and older people wearing attire that I felt should be on a younger person. One person likes a V neck and cleavage, another lives in turtle necks and sweaters. One wears a mini, one wears a maxi. One lives in hoodies another lives in dresses. It is all about how we feel and knowing who we are. It is not truly an age thing.
    When I think of OLD, I think of someones spirit being completely gone and are just waiting to pass on. SO....I have not seen a lot of old people in my lifetime. Most of my friends are at least 10 years older than me, some 10 years younger. I have lots in common with both groups. Some of my SP friends are far older than me in YEARS but have such a wonderful dynamic about them and have so much experience to offer. My late mother in-law would have been 90 this Sunday and she was not only like a mother to me but she was like a best friend. We talked about things that I could never have imagined OLD PEOPLE would talk about. She was still talking about meeting a man to share her life with, asking about life style choices of same sex relationships, inquiring about various attire and such. We shared many a belly laugh and talked about things my husband would blush about...lol The body ages, but the mind is as young as you want it to be.
    My mom is 80 and she is one of the most humerous women I know. She laughs hardy, she does not seem old in any way shape or form to me. She dresses quite tastefully. On the flip side though, she can become quite low and when that happens she talks OLD. As if she is going to die tomorrow.
    I am 53 enjoy all kinds of music but love going down memory lane listening to music of the 70's and 80's. I still play some of it loud and hard when I workout because I like it. That does not say anything about age as I know a LOT of youth that prefer the music of those times. There is my long saga of old..lol!
    Don't think old, live young! That's my motto..lol emoticon
    2121 days ago
  • WINDYCITYCYNDEE
    I realized that I was getting old when my students looked at me slackjawed with awe because I told them I had gone to high school before there were personal computers, let alone the Internet (and that I was in grad school before there was an Internet).

    I posted a pic of my high school newspaper staff once, and there was a machine in the corner that looked like a digital printer. Racked my brain trying to remember what it was. It was a mimeograph machine.

    I felt young all through my 40s. Great decade, not old. Take care of your skin!
    2121 days ago
  • A_RARE_BEAN
    seriously though who doesn't love gwen stefani, I want everything she wears even though I'd look ridiculous, lol love her!

    The answer to your question is never... unless you want to emoticon or maybe 100.... but it's all relative, a turtle would probably think we are but babies when we pop our clogs at less than 100 *shrug* I think this is close to the 'age appropriate' stuff we get ground into us, like older ladies shouldn't have long hair past 40 and all those other crappy social engineering articles out there. Personally don't wanna buy into it as I, by those rules, would be an abject failure of an unchilded, unmarried, uncareered, hoody wearing, halloween loving spinster! It's like living by the rules of the invisible 'life police', no one wants that! I'd rather dance to pass the peas, wear batman tops and dance till I turn grey emoticon

    Age like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and a persons heart, be happy and enjoy your gwen stefani and cut off gloves. As an aside, do you like her on the voice? I can't wait to see what her coaching skills are gonna be like, I'm only watching it cause she is on it lol
    2121 days ago
  • RASPBERRY56
    Hey, now......."Freebird" is just fine by me (no matter what your age may be)! Why, oh WHY do we in America get so uptight on the matter of chronological age? It's as if a number has some kind of psychological strangle hold on our psyche - and that is so, *so* wrong ....... especially when this kind of thinking has prevented capable people from earning a decent, living-wage livelihood (can we say "catastrophic long-term unemployment", Sparkies?)..........

    I say ...... "you *GO* - and don't let the ageist turkeys get you down!

    emoticon
    2121 days ago
  • DESERTDREAMERS
    I once commented to a young co-worker something about the Beatles - and she went "who?". I nearly slapped her!
    2121 days ago
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