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Operation 'Save My Feet'! A necessary chapter in my book?

Monday, October 13, 2014

Are you a foot person? Love to get a pedi and pick some adorable polish? Umm, then this blog might not be the most appealing (sorry!).

I don't have toenails to paint, and quite frankly can't handle anyone touching my feet due to pain. Oh boy, my feet certainly are NOT cute either. Swollen. Cracked. Flaming red and hot to touch in most areas, purple in others. My little piggies are ulcerated and infected. Poor pups are quite unhappy.
I miss my cuter feet. Shoot, I miss shoes! Ahhhh, I will still dream about them though. Mmm soft leather boots...nice! 😴

Met with my Pain Clinic doc 2 weeks ago as a follow up to my recent trial of IVIG therapy. Long story short: IVIG unfortunately didn't do anything for me. I reeeealllly wanted to 'will' it to work. Honest and truly! But I struck out with both rounds (poop!).

I thought that the doc would just confirm the IVIG stuff, and then I'd get wheeled out of the clinic by my hubbie to head back home.
But things got serious quickly once the doc looked down at my legs. Sobering news: My feet are kind of dying. She actually said that (Ahhhhhhhhhhh!).

She wants to admit me to the hospital after a procedure to place an epidural in my spine, numbing my legs completely. Then the Pain team will flood my legs and feet with vaso-dilators (medications to open my veins) to get blood to my feet, and keep them alive. I will need to have the epidural in place for a week to let those drugs work, since the meds will trigger very painful Ethel flares.

Her argument was that if she could keep my legs numb and force circulation within, then my feet should hopefully recover a bit. Unfortunately for me, the leg/feet CPR (if you will) is only a short term solution. If I don't do this... then yeah, dead little piggy toes for sure (again, Ahhhhhhhh!).

Not going to lie, it can be challenging to get through certain chapters of my personal book of life.
Experimental treatments, consistently plagued by side effects.
Increased pain directly linked to trying new treatments can be particularly harsh, since there's that little voice that whispers that I brought this on myself.
Failure of treatments and therapies for years now.
Coming home from the hospital usually worse than when I went in.
It can be a heavy load!
And don't forget to dog-ear the corners on some pages as a reminder to allow yourself to shed some tears and experience the emotions of that recent roller coaster ride too.
Seems much easier to close that thick heavy book and choose a lighthearted rag mag to read instead at times.

So here I am, waiting for the hospital to call me with my procedure time for tomorrow morning. Then I will need to count backwards 12 hours so I know when to stop drinking water. Lord knows I don't reeeeally need to worry about the food part.
See, while my heart says, "Let's do this baby! Let's see what happens!", my emo's scream, "Nutella and Cookies are the solution to life's problems!!!". Ohhhhhhhh...

I crashed and burned on the food already in the days leading up to my procedure tomorrow, but I'm not going to dwell on it.
Hmm, the emo eating was a 'fluff' chapter that would have been better left out of my book o' life huh? Perhaps like marshmallow fluff? Wait, no! Not that! Hee Hee.

Time to pack for trip to The Joint. LOTS of undies this time in case they extend my stay again. Snicker snicker... : )

Operation Save my Piggies (and feet!) has commenced!

Prayers, good juju, healthy energy. Whatever you can fling my way would be appreciated. Just not junkfood. Don't need anymore of that. Hrrrumph!

'Nuff Said.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CANNIE50
    Oh, honey, I don't mean to be argumentative with you but HOW ON EARTH IS ANY OF THIS YOUR FAULT?! You don't deserve one ounce of the tons of pain inflicted upon your one and precious body. None of this is your fault, none of it! I have to admit to feeling a little glad that they are giving you an epidural because the only thing I could think was "she won't feel any pain for awhile". I know it will be difficult and truly unpleasant but I am hoping the one thing it will not be is painful. The procedure they are doing, to my unscientific mind, seems to make so much sense. I pray it is helpful and successful and that everyone involved in your care sees you, and treats you, as the delightful person you are. I cannot even fathom the depth of disappointment at all the treatments that simply have not delivered. I am so truly sorry, Miss Bren. Your spirit is amazing. I adore you, sweetpea. oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
    1622 days ago
    1622 days ago
  • CATS_MEOW_0911
    Bren, sending much love and positive vibes your way!
    1622 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1622 days ago
    Operation, save your piggies.

    This little piggy went to walk
    This little piggy stayed home
    This little piggy had marshmallow fluff
    And this little piggy had none
    And this little piggy, this little piggy cried wee, wee, wee all the way to...ahhh, an epidural...mmmm

    1622 days ago
    Sending prayers and lots of good vibes your way. Good call on the panties, you can never have enough!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1623 days ago
    1623 days ago
    I feel Your pain. But don't give up hope & don't stop living..
    1623 days ago
    Praying for you my Dearest Bren. Very gentle emoticon . emoticon
    1623 days ago
    Praying for you Bren! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1623 days ago
    Jitzuroe, you show true grace under pressure!
    I will be thinking of you tomorrow emoticon and praying for painless. light feet for you. emoticon
    Rachel (seriouslim)
    1623 days ago
    Oh, my dear friend! I just can't imagine! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, send healing light, good juju, and healing hugs! I hope you have success with this treatment and it at least buys you time for the true solution! I wish I could visit you...but I am a message away and if you are up to it I will to drop buy!
    Love you!
    1623 days ago
    You are in my prayers. Like Mama said, you have to be one of the bravest people on the planet.
    emoticon emoticon
    1624 days ago
    Can you imagine what an awesome world it would be if Nutella and cookies really DID heal everything?! I mean, you'd get to eat tons of the stuff to keep Ethel away.

    I'm bummed for you that you have to go through this and trying to find a silver lining, I came up with this: you have a good pain doc who is on top of stuff enough to get this just-in-time solution to help your feet.

    Of course, I'm over here thinking about you, hoping all the best for you, and that this next chapter is more of a cakewalk than you could have imagined. Wait, did I say cake?! Oops, ah, more of a breeze! I realize this is mega wishful thinking, but I can't help it, I DO wish great things for you.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon that one's for the silver linings I know you'll be looking for emoticon and that's for the super hero that you are!
    1624 days ago
    Sending positive energy your way.
    1624 days ago
    emoticon praying for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon wishes.
    1624 days ago
    Bren, of the people I have ever met in my life, You truly are one of a kind. You face your challenges head on and with humor even in the crappiest circumstances. I am praying for you and your feet and every thing else. I love you, girl. You are my hero.
    1624 days ago
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