It has not been lost on me that a few of my Spark friends live within driving distance.
And I'm a meet and greet sort of gal, so what the heck is up with that??
I was wondering today- Why haven't I met these people yet???
It's not like a dating site- I'm not afraid they're not going to like me. Or God forbid think I'm fat!
Seriously, that deserved two.
I've been loved, and I've been ...not loved on this site, for being who I am. How I am, I should say. Does anyone here really *know* anybody? And I've only been here a couple of months.
And then the thought occurred to me- No one has ever asked to meet me. lol. No one within driving distance anyway!
Am I ready? Sure!! I would love to meet a fellow Sparker in person. BUT ONLY IF THEY'RE READY.
It's never been difficult for me to put myself out there. And I could try to evaluate why that is, but that would take...a lot of time. And this is something I like about myself, so I never really try to think about it. But I guess it's weird? I don't know. I have literally always been this way.
I remember being 5 and in kindergarten, and a guy who was part African American, part Native American was sitting on the front step crying. I sat down next to him, asked him why he was crying, and he said his hair was stupid. He had long, beautiful braids down his back, and I thought it was wonderful. I told him so, and he smiled, and walked in to kindergarten with me.
This same guy, in 10th grade, called me Miss Piggy on the bus, and while no one laughed with him, I was devastated. For that day.
Now, I remember it full well, but it wrecked me, for ONE day. And then I moved on. And he got over it too, I guess, because the next week he was saying hi. I don't know if he was trying to be cool or what. Boys can be stupid. I knew this at 5, and I knew this in 10th grade. Ask my husband. it holds true into adulthood
He's just one of the good ones that admits it.
I'm pretty much the same on Spark as I am in real life. And there have been consequences for that- good and bad, but at the end of the day, I like myself. I like that I'm honest. I like that I care- too much sometimes. I like that I take things to heart, and I like that I let things go. I like that I have a sense of humor (it may be not YOUR sense of humor. lol). I like that I can be so serious I drop everything when I think a situation deserves it. I wasn't always like that.
I like the way I am. And it seems (shockingly!) that the more I feel this way, the pounds are slowly, but steadily, going away.
Maybe it's not a pill. A crunch. All meat, or all veggies. Maybe it's acceptance. Not of a size, or a weight, but a real, actual acceptance. All of the pain, all of the hurt, all of the internalized bullsh*t. Really liking yourself.
Liking who you are.
Eh, I don't know. But I can tell you I see a lot less back fat lately
Anyway, the offer stands. If you're within driving distance and you're ready, let's meet! If not, that's ok too!