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Real Life Vs. Spark Life

Thursday, October 09, 2014

It has not been lost on me that a few of my Spark friends live within driving distance.

And I'm a meet and greet sort of gal, so what the heck is up with that??

I was wondering today- Why haven't I met these people yet???

It's not like a dating site- I'm not afraid they're not going to like me. Or God forbid think I'm fat! emoticon

emoticon Seriously, that deserved two.

I've been loved, and I've been ...not loved on this site, for being who I am. How I am, I should say. Does anyone here really *know* anybody? And I've only been here a couple of months.

And then the thought occurred to me- No one has ever asked to meet me. lol. No one within driving distance anyway!

Am I ready? Sure!! I would love to meet a fellow Sparker in person. BUT ONLY IF THEY'RE READY.

It's never been difficult for me to put myself out there. And I could try to evaluate why that is, but that would take...a lot of time. And this is something I like about myself, so I never really try to think about it. But I guess it's weird? I don't know. I have literally always been this way.

I remember being 5 and in kindergarten, and a guy who was part African American, part Native American was sitting on the front step crying. I sat down next to him, asked him why he was crying, and he said his hair was stupid. He had long, beautiful braids down his back, and I thought it was wonderful. I told him so, and he smiled, and walked in to kindergarten with me.

This same guy, in 10th grade, called me Miss Piggy on the bus, and while no one laughed with him, I was devastated. For that day.

Now, I remember it full well, but it wrecked me, for ONE day. And then I moved on. And he got over it too, I guess, because the next week he was saying hi. I don't know if he was trying to be cool or what. Boys can be stupid. I knew this at 5, and I knew this in 10th grade. Ask my husband. it holds true into adulthood emoticon He's just one of the good ones that admits it. emoticon

I digress...

I'm pretty much the same on Spark as I am in real life. And there have been consequences for that- good and bad, but at the end of the day, I like myself. I like that I'm honest. I like that I care- too much sometimes. I like that I take things to heart, and I like that I let things go. I like that I have a sense of humor (it may be not YOUR sense of humor. lol). I like that I can be so serious I drop everything when I think a situation deserves it. I wasn't always like that.

I like the way I am. And it seems (shockingly!) that the more I feel this way, the pounds are slowly, but steadily, going away.

Who knew?

Maybe it's not a pill. A crunch. All meat, or all veggies. Maybe it's acceptance. Not of a size, or a weight, but a real, actual acceptance. All of the pain, all of the hurt, all of the internalized bullsh*t. Really liking yourself.

Liking who you are.

Eh, I don't know. But I can tell you I see a lot less back fat lately emoticon

Anyway, the offer stands. If you're within driving distance and you're ready, let's meet! If not, that's ok too!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    WOw, Sparky. You "get it"! You will not treat yourself well unless you accept who you are. We tend to go at it bass-ackwards. "If I lose xxx pounds, I will be happy". Nope! Be happy first and the weight will follow.

    I want to meet you! I like you!
    2122 days ago
  • HEYRED221
    I'm in - lets get together. You already have my email - by the way, check yours - I sent a reply about 2 weeks ago - I think ;-) And my phone number is there too, send a text, lets get together - go for a walk :-)

    2123 days ago
    Well Sparky, I'm in Florida so I don't think that is going to happen.

    However that could always be a good thing for you. You see, I'm nothing in real life like I am on SP.. I'm worse emoticon

    A whole lot of sarcastic rolled into one fairy sized, foul mouthed Sicilian. I never cease to amaze people with the things that come flying out of my mouth. Those who call me friend usually spend their visit with me laughing. Those who just met me are either appalled at first and steadily grow to love me or if they have something stuck up their butt, I suggest they see a proctologist and I tend not to see them again.. I guess people have an aversion to those kind of doctors *snicker* cause my friends tell me I'm awesome.. it couldn't possibly be me..

    *grin* Seriously though, all smart assin aside, wish we could meet, it would be fun.

    2123 days ago
    Hi Sparky!!!!! I am glad I caught your blog! A couple of days late, but I am here! And you are there, and we are friends that have yet to meet. Who knows what life will bring our way? I am confident if you have not yet met a fellow sparker, it is not because of who you are or aren't. It is most likely because of distance, or fear from others that do not find it so easy to meet up with strangers. Sure, we get a good feel for people on SP. Sure we become close knit in ways and share our stories. is a risk to actually meet in person.
    I must confess, when I was with WW I met many of my on-line friends. I met a lot of women in various parts of Ontario. My first meeting was in Toronto Ontario, we all went on a 5k walk at the zoo and then got together for dinner and fun. My husband came with me, but he did his own thing for a few hours while I visited with many of my weight watcher friends. THEN....I was jumping ship....they would not have they insisted on a get together. I had about 12 women at my home and it was fantastic. It was as if we knew each other forever. Everyone seemed as they were on-line. Meeting #3, another fabulous union. I went out west to visit my best friend. While I was there, I met up with 6 women from WW, and we had an absolute blast THEN....the nightmare began. I had a second gathering at my home. It went beautifully excepting one woman.....was by no means who she pretended to be. That ended it for me. It left a terrible taste in my mouth. Overall though.....I met a lot of beautiful women who would make great forever friends. It is all about risk! It is worth taking, but it won't always be perfect. I hope you meet some friends Sparky, I think it would be wonderful. I would live to be with you in real life.....who knows...right?
    2124 days ago
    2126 days ago
    I like the way you are, too, Sparky! I've said this before, and maybe even in the same words, but you are ALIVE and you have PERSONALITY! You are always nail-on-the-head WITTY (e.g. your response to TWESTEN's latest photo and other examples too numerous to mention). I mean I've laughed out loud so many times at your pithy, amazingly funny comments on mine and others' pages. At the same time, it's so easy to see your deeply compassionate side--your concern for the women in Pakistan, your worries about your pupils not being loved enough at home, and now this new scene you've shown us today. How many five-year-olds can do what you did?! So many children (and grownups, too, of course), when presented with someone's weakness and difference from the herd, would take the opportunity to bully or attack (as a child, I witnessed and participated in both attacking and bullying, much to my dismay). But you did the opposite! You reacted with courage, love, and concern.

    I know it was hurtful to be called Miss Piggy, but I think Miss Piggy is very cute and lovable. I was compared to a pig, a hippo and an elephant by Japanese kids at the kindergarten where I used to teach. That was fifteen years ago, and I still didn't have enough self-love to take it in stride, although I pretended to laugh it off (while trying to convey that it's not polite to compare people to animals out loud). If it happened now, I think I would handle it much better, both outwardly and inwardly, because, like you, I've come to accept myself so much more than before.

    2127 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/9/2014 9:36:00 PM
    If you are ever in New England or you make it to Twesten1 I will def meet up with you.
    This story reminds me of DD she is easy to make friends with ppl especially if they seem like they are not fitting in quite right.
    I just watched the Video for 'Girls Chase Boys' by Ingrid Michaelson its friggin hilarious...I love that song its such an earworm. Not really relevant to topic but whatever, I thought you might like the distraction.
    2127 days ago
    If you ever make it to mid-mo, let me know...we will definitely have a get together. Don't have a trip to NM on my agenda, but who knows... emoticon emoticon
    2127 days ago
    Great blog. Can't ask for more then havin' a big ol' smile on my face at the end. You sound like a pretty great person. Anyone who doesn't like that can lump it. ;)
    2127 days ago
    I wish I lived in New Mexico :) love it there!!
    2127 days ago
  • GHK1962
    1) I've met one of my Spark friends. Someone that is pretty cool. And it was fun to see them. So I hope that chance does become a reality for you. I bet whomever you meet up with would think you are all sorts of cool.

    2) Regarding "...boys are stupid..." and how it holds into adulthood. Hmmm. I think for myself, I would rather say that I'm just intelligently and common sensely impaired. That way when I do do something stoopid then instead of it being my fault, I can blame it on factors out of my control. :-P

    3) I like putting things in numbered lists.
    2127 days ago
    Well, I think it's very unfair that I'm not within driving distance - well, I am but it'd be a heck of a LONG drive :) I've only been able to meet one spark friend in person and it was great - but it would be better if it were one of my "main" friends!

    What a jerk of a boy... why don't people realize just how much words hurt? What I love about you is that you shook it off ... let it ruin and a day and then move on. That's a lesson we all need to learn.

    Ed still has an xtra week vacation ~ we might be within flying distance :)
    2127 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    I live in Michigan and have met MANY fellow Sparkers nearby. Some from across the country, but when we met, we felt like we knew each other for years.. he all hugged and just carried on conversation like we were old friends..we are..
    2127 days ago
    "Boys can be stupid." emoticon Ohhh.. mann!! Could we ever go on about THAT one! I knew your husband was one of those good guys, Sparky. Rob's the same. emoticon

    I have a couple of questions for you - Were you always like that? I mean, the type or person who didn't let things stick or bother you for very long. And did you always like who you are? Or is this a more recent realization?

    I ask because I'm working hard on this internal stuff. Although I thought highly of myself, I don't think I really liked myself, if that makes any sense. I'm trying to make peace with who I am. And I think that's a major key that has been missing, and why all of my past attempts to lose weight and get healthy have failed.
    2128 days ago
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