Friday, September 19, 2014
I loved my time on Spark! I did great, loved the friends I made, and learned how to start new good habits. But of course life gets in the way.
Losing my job was really hard and made it hard for me to access Spark daily. Which of course made me lose interest. I did stay within the limits I learned here so I was still doing good. Then, my body started shutting down from my 2012 accident.
I have had 5 surgeries since the original accident. Now some of these surgeries are a little for me. I was left with a huge skin graph on my lower left leg and also on the outside of right thigh and knee. So I have been able to have a couple fix surgeries on the skin graphs. The lower leg one bothers me more b/c it is more visible. It started as covering half my leg on the right side and now it is down to 2" and I couldn't be happier.
Now considering I was hit by a moving car going over 50 mph I am doing pretty freaking great. I walk just fine, I have all my body parts, and I have a life to live. I really did feel that was it, I am done with that part of my life and can move on.
I have never been so wrong in my life. 2 and a half years later I am having new problems pop up. My right knee (the first part of my body to be hit) has been bothering me for a while and it kept getting worse. So now I have to have my 6th surgery. Basically I'm having all the ligaments in my knee re-done. So this is a big surgery, a lot of therapy, and a lot of doing nothing.
The hard part about this is I did gain weight from the last surgery I had in July. Around the same time my knee went out. So last month and this month I have had the urge every day to go and do something, go to the park, kick my soccer ball a round. But I can't and to me that just sucks. I want to lose the surgery weight before I have another surgery. But how? I can barley walk. This has brought me so down. I know I am depressed, I feel trapped in my own room yet I have all the freedom I want.
I am not giving up. I know this next surgery will finally fix my knee and I will be able to run again (hopefully). Well, at least be able to do more and finally get to the park I have been dreaming of. I know I have a long life in front of me. I'm just stuck in this slump. That is why I'm back. I need more positive thinking. I need people to talk to. I need to get into better eating habits and plan for them after surgery. I need to figure out what I can do on the fitness side that won't hurt my knee. And this time I will stick with it!