Me, Numbers, and the Mind Game

Friday, September 19, 2014

Just a quick observation: This morning as I got on the scale and saw the numbers, the same thing happened that happened the last time the number was lower than the time before, indicating that, yes, I had indeed lost weight. You would think I would be ecstatic, cheering, and jumping for joy. But, noooooooo, I immediately go into my "this can't be right" mode! I start to think, "Am I sick"? "Is something wrong with me"? I then weight myself over and over and over just to see if the number will go back up. Next step, I get my 15 pound Kettlebell to test the scale's accuracy, once that's done, I get back on the scale again. It's ab-soul-lutely crazy!!! emoticon Especially when it is only a pound, yes, I said pound and not poundS , only a pound and a little more over, like maybe 1.5. It happened this morning! I'm like OMG!!! this can't be right!! Then the whole weighing over and over routine began. Then I went to the weight tracker to record the numbers and realized that on 9-1-14, I weighed 157.2, today, 3 weeks later, I weigh 156.3 (according to the scale, see I'm still trying to convince myself that it is correct), a ONE POUND difference in 3 weeks, you would have thought that I lost 25 pounds in 3 weeks. The question I had to ask myself, which is really the whole point of this blog, the question is, why do I immediately believe and accept the number on the scale when it goes up and go into total shock and disbelief when the number on the scale goes down? I think, (this is my thought right at this moment cause my thoughts have a tendency to change as the day goes on) anywho, I think that I'm so use to failing at this weight loss thing, because I have been on this journey to lose 10 pounds for the last, I don't know, at least 5 years, only to lose and gain, lose and gain, that now that something has clicked and I'm not gaining but consistently losing, I can't believe I'm actually being successful. Hypothesis: I can believe I'm a failure but not that I'm successful. That changes TODAY!! I am winning at this weight loss thing, so that makes me a WINNER! One pound at a time!! So to that scale I say, "You're not the boss of me!

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