Where I've been, Where I'm going
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
First of all I am in a MUCH better place than I was earlier this year (thank you again to those who supported me back then). My new job starts soon, I'm in classes and have a projected end date to my degree as July 31, 2015. I'm going to do it. I'm going to finish it :) I'm also looking for a new therapist closer to my apartment, will update about that when I find one -- I'm sure the investment into my emotional/mental health will be worth it. The work I've done on my own (reading psychology articles, practicing positive mantras and meditations and breathwork, getting outside and exercising more, eating feel-good foods) has really helped pull me out of one of the roughest patches of my life. Oh!! And I rejoined my gym. Yay! - I missed it so much, and I've come to realize that swimming stabilizes my emotions and relieves stress more than any other form of exercise, and I absolutely love soaking/meditating in the warm water pool after a hard ST session; I'm grateful to have access to such a wonderful facility.
So all that being said.... Binge/emotional eating happened. I was obsessed over a guy for a while (it comes in floods, not raindrops...) but it didn't work out and now I am just trying to focus on ME! I know I've gained some weight. I've lost some sleep. I've eaten foods that were not good for me which made my muscles sore as achey and I've stressed myself out and shot my cortisol through the roof. My tummy is large. I am not where I want to be. These choices are not me. They aren't who I want to be.
This is another 'fresh start.' Not all of my healthy habits are gone -- I still have cravings for healthy food, I am still exercising, I am more body positive and self-confident than I have ever been , and am working to cultivate mindfulness, especially with my eating.
I joined the BLC 26! I am quite excited --
I really need all the support I can get at this point, and the weekly weigh ins and team challenges are great for my accountability. I'm going to blog more about my specific goals for this challenge this weekend.
Tomorrow I weigh in. I won't like the number, but I will accept it and move forward with confidence that I will never see it on a scale again.
I hope to blog regularly over the next 12 weeks. I don't know what about -- probably deeply personal insights and random life details, workouts and social life. I don't know, I just feel like I need to write things down... Like it helps smooth out the wrinkles in my crazy head meat.
Here I go :) I'm an open book and you're all invited.