I'm Tired of Apologizing
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
I was all set to write something uplifting and awesome for my first blog back on Spark, but then life happened. One of the projects I do at work, that makes up about half of my hours mind you, was suddenly cancelled out of nowhere and no one thought to tell me until I started asking about it today. I'm angry. I'm panicked about money. I'm all sorts of things and the first thing I did was run to the chocolate.
I'm sure this a story many people know well. Bad thing A happens. Emotions B through W happen. Food is liberally applied until you're no longer worried about thing A because you feel guilty and gross.
I'm just done. Let's get real, ya'll. Life happens. My gut reaction is going to always be to go for candy or ice cream. That's how I've been dealing with all sorts of terrible things since I was eight or so. No one should be surprised, least of all me, that I am going to seek food for comfort automatically. I know it isn't healthy. I know it's not the right thing to do. What's worse? My first thought was "god, I can't track all those reese's on Spark. What will people think?"
Screw that. Seriously. If I'm going to do this I'm going to do it with honesty and integrity.
I'm back because I need to get on track with my eating, especially with winter fast approaching. I can list all the reasons why I want to do this, why I need to do this, but at the root they don't matter. What matters is that I'm here and that I'm not going to sugar coat any bit of this. Some days are going to suck. Some days I'm going to do zumba and eat all my veggies and feel like a thousand bucks. At least I can promise is that when you're here you're getting the real me. Deal? Deal.