The sugar is taking over!
Friday, September 12, 2014
My goodness!!!!! I cannot control my sugar lately it seems...while of course it actually is within my control, I am failing at it!!! I started eating way too much sugar and that starts a downward spiral! I start feeling depressed and then I eat more until I get to the point where it is out of control. WEll that cycle has started over and is going again. So I am back at step one of the taming your sweet tooth. I am almost all the way through week 1. Wow did I consume a lot of sugar this week. A lot of it was not in hidden sources! It has been a horrible week emotionally but that is not an excuse. So I am starting over at step one and I am going to kick this. It is causing problems in every aspect of my life and I feel out of control of my emotions.
I have been feeling incredibly blue and moody/emotional. I know some of that can be attributed to the pregnancy but the depression is the sugar. I have no doubt in my mind. I have been completely irrational. I feel like I cannot stop eating sugar. I am struggling with not being able to be a stay at home mom. I have wanted to for such a long time. Since before we had our son I knew I would want to be a stay at home mom but it hasn't been in the cards for me. I know that we have some habits we need to change to make it happen but I am still sad. I still cry almost every day when I have to leave my little boy to go to work... I don't know what to do. It is heavy on my heart and such a desire that I want to be home to take care of my family (I would even work from home) but it doesn't seem to be what is meant to be at this time. I don't know how to deal with it. I know the bible is true and it says God will give you the desires of your heart so I am trying to hold onto hope but at what point do I just accept that I am going to be working outside the home mom and just change my attitude. I am trying really hard to be happy in the moment while I work towards my dream but it is a daily struggle. I don't see how it is going to work because other than praying and hoping, it is completely out of my hands and in Gods hand.
On a side note, I am hoping to come back more regularly and practice my writing skills/journaling on here. It helps me to be more accountable.