I had a hard week
Monday, August 18, 2014
So I had a bad week. I felt really down and my will power wasn't as strong. I gave in and ate out a few times rather than cooking and didn't make great choices when I did (pizza twice and orange chicken with dumplings). I only worked out twice, and even noticed that wasn't getting me out of this "funk". It wasn't until I was listening to a podcast on Saturday night and they started talking about Robin Williams that it dawned on me that his suicide was my "stresser" (as they say on Criminal Minds).
I guess his suicide really affected me. I've been a huge Robin Williams fan ever since I was a kid. I can remember sneak into the family room after everyone went to bed so I could watch that first HBO special. I remember being upset because mom wouldn't take me to see Popeye (she ended up being right, but still...).
I think I was sub-consciously thinking, "If this jolly, seemingly happy person couldn't make it, then how could I?" So once I realized what was going on in my head, I spent the rest of the night reassuring myself that things were good. That I was on the right track and finally caring about myself. Things are going good and I'm all good. And that seems to have done the trick. My mood has been much more positive since I had that "conversation" with myself.
So I guess that the lesson learned. If I feel like things are going wrong, I'll just stop, take a moment to collect myself and think about what's causing it, and how to take care of it.