So long, farewell, aufvedersehen, good night.....
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Well, I no longer have the time, or the band width, to stay with spark people. I hope my busy days will lead to gainful employment, but the last few have made it painfully clear that I don't/wont have time to take care of myself like I have been.
I know it is important to put my health first. I know many of you have full time jobs and families that you juggle with your spark activities and taking care of yourself. I am just too frustrated right now to figure it all out. Something has to go.
Since we do not have the band width for my husband to play his games on-line at the same time I am trying to do ANYTHING on line, I guess I gotta go. I don't have time to check in during the day and his best playing hours are in the evening when his friends can get on and play with him. He tries to be understanding, but I just can't take the pacing and cussing (he paces around me to see if I will be done soon, he trys to play anyway and yells when glitches cause him to fail). It stresses me out which is even worse for my health than saying goodbye to all of you lovely people. If/when I do have time to get on-line it will have to be to look for work and/or to educate myself to become more employable.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to keep my motivation up with out you. It is soooo easy to say I will work out later, I will go for a walk tomorrow, etc. The next step is to start eating convenience foods because I wont have time to prepare proper meals or run out and pick up the fresh foods I should be eating.
You are not the only "cut" I am making to my personal time. My garden is also gong to go. I don't have time to water, weed, feed, and fight the thieving critters. Since the bunnies, deer, and squirrels are eating my harvest before i can get to it, I am going to conserve time and water by ripping out my veggie garden.
It makes me sad. I am crying as I write this. Spark People has been such a God send for me since April. My time in the garden has been meditative, contemplative, and quietly nurturing for my soul. But the stress of fitting it all in is undoing all of the positives....even my pedometer gave out again.
I'm not sure what will happen for me now. I will be sad and angry for a while. Then I will either find a way to come back, or I will find a way to cope without.
I admire those of you who have figured out how to do it all and I hope that someday I will figure it out and see you again.
I wish all of you the very best on your journey to being healthier, happier, more fulfilled Sparkers.