How far I've fallen..
Tuesday, August 05, 2014
It's embarrassing to admit but this past year hasn't been a good one for me. I started to slip last September around my birthday and by the time the holiday season was over I gained 30 pounds. 30! It is amazing how fast you can put on weight. Oh, but it doesn't stop there.
I was seeing a guy and I thought things were going well. We had been friends for two years before I agreed to date him. He was persistent and slowly I lowered my guard. Two days after Valentine's Day (where I thought he was so sweet and he gave me a huuuuge bouquet) he started to see another girl behind my back. I didn't find out until March and he tried to pull the whole "I want you, not her!!" spiel. But I have more self-respect than to fall for that and I told him to take his shady ways and hit the road. But it hurt me deeply.
I really fell off the wagon then and got stuck in the mud. I made no effort to watch my food intake or to even exercise. I gained another 30 pounds. 60 pounds total! Another 30 and I would be back to my highest weight ever. I was in denial but the scale and pics don't lie. I felt so ashamed.
I am tired of feeling bad about myself and being my own worst enemy. My birthday is coming up and the fear of having another bad year really made me sit down and think about my life. I don't want the next year to be like the last. I want to lose the weight I gained and then continue losing until I am under 200 pounds. I know I can do that in a year!
I've been on track for a week and a half now. I've lost 4.5 pounds, something I am impressed with since it also is my time of the month. I feel and see my spark again and it is leading me out of the fog and into the clear. I am starting to feel like myself again and have hope. Maybe it's the endorphins! Haha!
I don't ask for support or help easily, but I really need it. If you checked out my blog and would like to be buddies please add me. I promise to be supportive of you as well! In any case, thanks for reading. =)