Thursday, July 31, 2014
There are only three weeks left before surgery and my weight loss seems to be stalled. I haven't lost more than a pound a week, despite my efforts, but that is better than no progress at all. I'm so tempted to fast but not only is that "old hat," I probably wouldn't make it long enough for it to be effective. It seems like I'm constantly thinking about food anymore and I'm hungry more than I'm not.
This seems wrong. There were periods in my life that food was scarce and I don't remember being hungry or fixating on food at those times. In fact, I only thought about food when I smelled it or saw someone else eating. So what's different now? Why to I feel cheated that there wasn't a banana for my breakfast (I never even ate breakfast before except on special occasions, never wanted food before lunch time.)? I had rice and milk - as much as I could want for that matter, and chicken for lunch, and spaghetti for supper. And I'll have bananas again in a few days, if I still want them. So why was the lack of a banana so important to me this morning?
Three weeks to surgery but this won't end there. I have to keep going afterward in the hopes that I can keep whatever benefit I get from the surgery. The thought of it failing some time down the line is too much for me to bear.