Emotional Eater and Hoarder
Monday, July 28, 2014
I believe I am an emotional eater and hoarder too. I might be projecting my stuff onto you.
How does this play out?
When I get increasingly anxious about my life, usually feeling out of control. My solution often is buy and eat comfort food or buy stuff. Both are exciting - initially. But I notice in my heart it isn't right. I may hide some or all what I acquired, not wanting to be discovered, even by myself - denial...and even more anxiety which creates an unwanted, but familiar circle.
I don't know if this has to do with filling an unremembered hole. There is a chance it is my anger at feeling I had no control of my life at an early age. I was happy where we lived - liked the school, the fact I could ride my bike anywhere safely, unlocked doors, my grades were high, my weight was normal, my space was neat and organized. Then we moved to downtown Chicago, despite my protests. I felt betrayed, angry, and hurt. That was when I learned not to trust.
I began to insulate with food and stuff. By the age of nine, I was I a chubby, my room was a mess, and my grades started to drop. Here's the problem... I'm not nine anymore. It's 45 years later and I'm behaving as if I were nine.
Does this still serve me? No.
Now is a great time to move forward.