60,000-79,999 SparkPoints 70,885

Send Them Packing

Friday, July 11, 2014

As I was slipping off to sleep last night, I was thinking about a couple of negative nellies I encountered through the day. That stream of consciousness led me to think a couple of less than optimistic thoughts myself. I reminded myself that it is OKAY to have negative thoughts once in a while, as long as you are willing to chuck them away or realize you have the power to turn those thoughts around.

Case in point. Last week I shared a picture of my sister and I with a new friend. He said, "Wow. You two are polar opposites." My mind jumped to the dark side, and I took his comment to mean, "She is thin and beautiful and you are not." The thought came. I knocked it down. I replied we are very similar in personality. The truth is we actually are a lot alike - but that is not what he saw visually.

Did he mean: I'm tall, she's not. She wears make-up, I don't. She is not wearing glasses, I am. Who knows - because I didn't ask. I presumed what he meant and it might be the truth or not --- but it is immaterial in any case. I had a negative thought - and I cast it out. That is the important part to me. I did not hold it against him - I still don't know what the heck he meant. It is in the eye of the beholder, but except from my perspective, there was nothing that he said or did that should have made me jump to that conclusion. That came from my own crazy spin and conditioning - but I now choose to toss that away!

I think we are all capable of having negative thoughts. It is easy to compare ourselves with others and look for flaws so much more in the mirror than it is to acknowledge the beauty and loveliness that makes us up. It's all in the human condition.

It doesn't mean we get to dwell there - or take the negativity as gospel. Whether we inflict it on ourselves, or feel bombarded by bullies and others, it is important to build yourself a suit of armor, where you can possibly be subject to a negative comment, but not absorb it on your own.

I find it amusing that on a day where I am thinking about this myself - so is the Huffington Post. They have a piece in there today about banishing negative thoughts.

So, think them if you must, but then just toss them aside. You are beautiful. I am beautiful. We are all beautiful.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you so much. It is so true and something I desperately have to work on. I take everything to heart far too much. I will try to follow your advice though! x
    1405 days ago
    sometimes you have to BE the tephlon
    1410 days ago
    Great blog! 68Anne posted the link to it!
    Some questions I have to ask myself (if my mind jumps to the conclusion that someone is being negative toward me) are..."What do I think of this person or that person throughout the day? Am I putting others down in my mind (ready to come out my mouth)? Do I really dwell on negative thoughts of others all the time?" So often we ascribe to others things they aren't thinking about us! It is so easy to get caught up in worries about what other people are thinking/saying about us "behind our backs".
    1412 days ago
    You ae so right, we get them but we cant let them dominate our lives.
    1412 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1413 days ago
    No one gets up in the morning thinking "How can I hurt someone's feeling today?"
    You are right, WE jump to the conclusion that all comments towards us are meant to be negative jabs at how we look, move, etc....We do it to ourselves, no one does it to us.

    I love this quote: “An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” ¯ Goi Nasu

    We need to pump out all the crappy stuff we put inside there our self!

    Love and hugs,
    1413 days ago
    Great blog. You are right on here and in other language -- yes -- *we* must take care of ourselves - no need to derail on our perception of another's comments. You are on the road to health, methinks.
    1413 days ago
    Negative Nellies skulk in all our minds... ready to believe the negative at all costs. Thanks for writing this insight, enabling all of us the thought to choose the positive, and not to hold onto the negatives. Thanks to 68Anne posting your blog, it's well worth the read. emoticon emoticon
    1413 days ago
    68Anne posted a link to this and wow, great message. I'm a huge believer in the law of attraction and I follow the teachings of Wayne Dyer and others. Two messages he says on this subject are: "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours" and "What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is to be independent of the opinions of other people." I too get these thoughts from time to time and you're right...it's OK to have the thought, but like you state, it's important to then toss those thoughts out the window and move on. It's very hard sometimes to do this, but the more you practice, the more quickly you're able to change the behavior going forward. It's a constant work in progress, but so worth it.
    1413 days ago
  • MSHEL7
    Great blog, I had some really negative things around me this last week and you're right, we just have to brush them off.
    1413 days ago
  • 68ANNE
    Very inspiring blog. Perfect timing for me too. I have trouble with those thoughts too. When someone is speaking in hushed tones it must be negatively about me. Changing those thoughts or brushing aside is great
    1413 days ago
    I've been trying to make myself create re-do's for moments like that. I want to go beyond just getting past negative thoughts. It is like thinking of how I could have reacted without ever thinking or having to toss away a dark negative thought.
    "Wow. You two are polar opposites."
    Rather than think of the dark side, you could have said...
    Actually, we are a lot alike. She is shorter than I am and doesn't wear glasses but our personalities are very much alike. She is a lovely person and I am so lucky she is my sister.

    1414 days ago
    On Wednesday Hubby and I went out for coffee I was wearing a dress and tights something I love but have had to make myself wear because I still feel huge. It makes me feel somehow 'normal' or getting there size wise. At the tearoom a person said, "OMG!!!" very loudly- immediately I thought it was directed to me.
    I brushed it aside and went in, later I mentioned my reaction to hubby who said said"it couldn't have been you, you look great in that dress". Melt...melt... he is a man who does not say things if he doesn't mean it.
    Being brought up in a family where you "had" to do things and people said "things" but did not mean them, being married to him has been a torment and a pleasure. :)
    He has helped me to see the 'truth' about a lot of things.

    upshot: I threw away the thought and had a great day.

    Thanks for such a great blog.
    1414 days ago
    I like this blog...no, i love it! I love the way you can take the negative and let it roll from you without being consumed by it. Too many times, I've seen others, including my daughter, receive negative comments and allow them within their personal thoughts - it's heartbreaking to see. My 18 yr old daughter weighs 88 lbs and eat like a horse. She has the metabolism I had at her age, where you could eat whatever and worry about nothing. She is bombarded with comments of anorexia and bulimia, and any attempt to say otherwise just enforces the comments of 'disorder denial.' She wears a "suit of armor" as you so aptly phrased, and has learned to blow most of the comments off. We both know how much she loves to eat and what we think and feel is all that matters. Pretty sad how the name calling can work both ways.
    1414 days ago
  • KMW987
    Great blog! It took me a while to be able to work through the negativity in my life. We have to just focus on the positives and keep moving forward!

    1414 days ago
  • JANET552
    Thanks for the inspiring blog!! Sometimes it's easier said than done but I'll keep working on it.
    1414 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by MICKEYMAX