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A Hidden Calorie Burner!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

We all know about calories in versus calories out. The "out" amount has to be bigger than the "in" amount. And of course, you do this by putting your body through an many calorie-burning exercises as possible. Or as many as impossible, or at least that's the way it seems at times.

We all know how easy the calorie in part is. Spot some food, especially sweet or salty type things, pop it into your mouth, chew a bit, and wham! scads of calories "in." I, myself, am practically a pro at doing this! And several of my friends are proficient at it also. In fact, I think it is probably something that most Americans have no problem with at all. As a nation, it is something we do extremely well.

I've been an accountant for many years of my life, so I kind of like to refer to myself as a "numbers" person. Always figuring out how much something costs per ounce, or pound. Especially pounds, as it's hard to think of things in such small increments as "ounces" and frankly, I haven't a clue as to how much a gram is. Probably something insignificant like those cigarettes of yester-year that was a "silly millimeter longer."

You're probably all wondering by now what the "hidden" calorie burner is that I have discovered. Here it is, something we live with day in and day out. Something we never want to see anywhere around us, but it's always there, lurking in the background. What is it, you say? STRESS! And I'm wondering why it hasn't made any of the charts I've studied and pored over. Why just today I wasn't all that busy, just going over numbers with the carpet salesperson. Yes, my tenants had moved out of my rental and the carpet was such that no one, not even me, would consider having it shampooed, no -- it was definitely in the "replace" category. So I was waiting to hear that final $$$ figure so I could make up my mind as to whether it would put me in the poor house or just cause me to eat ramen noodles for the next 10 years. I finally decided on the lesser of the two evils thrown at me, as the salesman stood there smiling his evil little grin, not really caring about the ramen noodles one iota. He finally gathered up all his little samples, and went merrily on his way.

I gathered up my remaining strength and glancing at the clock, saw I had another two hours before the yard maintenance people were due to arrive. Well, I had come prepared. In the freezer was one of those "processed TV dinners" which I know very well is a big no-no in the overall picture of healthy lifestyle. But.... I was hungry and it was certainly better than having a "Big Mac." So into the microwave it went. 4 min. later I took it out to stir it. Still frozen. Hmmmmm! Not one to give up easily, I put it back in and this time pushed the "5" -- that ought to do the trick! But, alas, at the sound of the ding the TV dinner was still a frozen, unedible mass of unhealthy cals. Not to be deprived of my food, I turned on the oven, it said 35 minutes @ 250 deg. I have never put a TV dinner in the oven before, and was skeptical. I was sure my newly cleaned oven would soon be a mass of melted plastic and broccoli mixed in with a sort of beefy gravy. But, the package was right, the tough little plastic container held up and I had my lunch. (3 o'clock, but who's paying attention to that?) I leaf through a stack of magazines left behind by the former tenants, trying to do something with my time until the yard maintenance arrived. Finally, after waiting 30 minutes past our latest promised time to be at my house -- I gave up and drove home. Now here is the interesting part. I felt like I had just completed a 10K -- not that I've ever tried it; nope, not even a 5K, but I have a very good imagination! Somewhere around I was sure must be the 18-wheeler that seemed to have run over my body. I was totally wiped out. And all I had done was deal with Stress. It must burn up a whopping amount of calories per hour. I doubt that my scale pays any attention at all to stress and it will probably stress me out even further with the reading I get when I step gingerly on the scale tomorrow morning. But you and I both know, I was burning those calories like they were going out of style!

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