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Sunday, June 29, 2014

I'm back!
I've been here and there for a while now, mostly there. At some point I lost quite a bit of weight, and then I lost my motivation, regained my appetite, and gained a lot of it back.
I was sidetracked by personal loss, personal gain, life in general.
I'm here now. I'm ready to take back my motivation. I didn't lose it, really. I may have misplaced it for a while, but I've gone looking for it and I'm ready to continue this journey I started so long ago.

It's a lonely feeling, when you are convinced you're among the heaviest persons in the world (even when that's not close to the truth). When you are sure that no one else is struggling the way YOU struggle, you feel a sense of emptiness. It's ironic isn't it, that in trying to fill the sense of emptiness we feed the struggle? I eat, I feel empty, I feel empty, I eat. What a shameful cycle.
I intend to break that cycle. One day at a time.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Life can be a vicious cycle. We have to figure out how to get off and try a new path. The old path is so comfortable and familiar. The new path is full of new and sometimes scary adventures. Glad you made it back to spark. Good Luck.
    1366 days ago
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  • RWARE0612
    This sounds like me. Thank you for sharing. I have been sidetracked too and now I am starting over. Thank goodness we can start over. emoticon

    1393 days ago
    Me too Your not alone in your struggles emoticon emoticon .
    1393 days ago
    Hello Sidetracked!

    You are not alone! I too am back as of yesterday. Lost 90 lbs, gained back 27.4. Your post hit the nail right on the head. Every night I would say, tomorrow I'll start again and the next day, I would start feeding my face again. High stress life and I eat to make myself feel good, it does exactly the opposite. Feel good for a few minutes, then loath myself for being weak. Two nights ago, I posted to everyone that I was getting back on track with my eating, exercising, and tracking. I think that did the trick for me. I feel like I'm truly back this time. So, reading this post, like I said, hit the nail right on the head. Congratulations, keep it up. Looking forward to hearing how you continue to do. emoticon
    1393 days ago
  • PEAR-170
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  • C67241
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    1394 days ago
    I have learned that one day at a time is not enough for me. It HAS TO be one moment at a time. Some people are addicted to drugs or alcohol, it appears I am addicted to eating when down (and I'm down a lot!). So, one moment at a time. At times, this can be hard, as you've learned. As I've learned. One way to help on this is not to blame yourself if you don't do what you know intellectually you must do, the next moment is the time to focus on. I'm literally sitting here knowing that I made the makings for a strawberry shortcake for my family and there is a lot of those left. But I refuse to go eat it.
    1394 days ago
    I know and understand. I have been there and done that. But you can do it. You have the right attitude and motivation to move forward. You are not alone!
    1394 days ago
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    1394 days ago
    ....look where you are going, not where you have been. Life is ebb & flow, sometimes that means going the wrong way for a while. You are here, you can do it!
    1394 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    Welcome to SparkPeople. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. I started at 387 lbs and have lost 100 pounds! You can do it too. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. I have found that changing things up is the way to start weight loss. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon
    1395 days ago
  • NEWBIRTH2014
    emoticon for your personal loss and the difficulty you've been going thru, glad you're back and ready to keep emoticon to your goal emoticon .

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    1396 days ago
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