I'm Licking My Wounds And Moving On.
Friday, June 27, 2014
I have always been the type of person to give 100% to whatever I plan to do. When I stared Sparkpeople in May 2011 I did just that. I lost 70 lbs. by 12-25-11 and it seemed like nothing would stop me from reaching my goal of losing over 100 lbs.
Well, somewhere along the way, I got comfortable with where I was and lost sight of my ultimate goal. I stopped giving 100% to my program and the weight started to creep back on.
Totally devastated by my lack of "control" I began to feel depressed and disappointed with myself losing sight of the fact that I had accomplished something extraordinary even with gaining a little back. I made bad food choices and eventually stopped going to zumba and exercising all together.
I gave up on myself and like with other areas of my life, did it with 100% effort. Other stressors entered my life, plantarfaciitis, financial stress, marital stress, family issues with parents, discipline issues with having a teenager...it was too much and I turned back to food to escape.
My health got steadily worse and I was shocked to see a 296 lb. woman looking back at me in the mirror one day. I realized that I couldn't ignore the problem any further but I felt too insecure to get started again.
On 6/16/14, an old Sparkbuddy sent me a text message and asked if I would help her lose weight to prepare for a knee surgery. That was it. That was the "sign" I needed to get started. She gave me the "spark" and I would create the flame!
I am a nurturer by nature. It is easier for me to help others than myself. This simple request to help someone else with their weight loss gave me the motivation I needed to start helping myself. I want to be a positive example for her.
It may not solve the underlying emotional issues I obviously have with taking care of myself but, it did get me started on my path again.
I started eating better and logging my food in a journal that day. Losing 8 lbs. has given me enough confidence to come back on this website and say "ok, I am back!"
We are all human. I let myself down by gaining the weight back but, I can make it right again by licking my wounds and moving on.
"It doesn't matter where you start...it's where you end that counts!"