Checking in, not checking out
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
It's clear that emo stress, perceptions of overwork, being alone, and evening are the challenge times for me.
When I'm feeling upset, angry, bored, stressed, and/or tired I have a tendency to reach "Stuff I Oughtn't Have." And just the fact that I am heavier than I want to be and and feeling kind of old and unattractive, and that I am worried about some health issues that are certainly related to eating makes me start with a baseline of stress.
I certainly understand why the Overeaters Anonymous folks say "HALT." (Don't get too Hungry, Angry, Tired, Lonely). I just looked up some ways to use HALT (i.e., reminders...as if I didn't know!). Here's what I'm reminding myself: http://www.sharecare.com/healt
So: On one hand I'm feeling like s*** and discouraged because it seems like it's going to take a very serious focus on my part to get the weight off (again) because this postmenopausal metabolism seems to have no room for error...and I'm not sure where I can find my "comfort" if I completely stop all the behaviors (i.e., eating behaviors) that I find take the edge off when I'm stressed.
What I've concluded is that I need to do MORE emotional comforting of myself when I am stressed (see article above) and also need to learn how to be with emotional discomfort without wigging out. Hmmm... This is also leading back to my Hakomi work where mindfulness is the key. I'll be focusing on being present to the discomfort without having to have it be different than it is. That, in itself, sometimes transforms the discomfort all by itself.
So my new commitment is to practice mindfulness in my daily life -- especially when I am feeling pressure. My new mantra needs to be "check in, don't check out." So I'm going to check in and do what I can to first notice myself and then, if needed, give myself something appropriate to help me (i.e., a break or a walk or a nap or a glass of tea or a call to a friend). I'm also going to make a practice of simply noticing and being with any of those HALT feelings -- leaning into the thorn -- without having to have them be different.