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Checking in, not checking out

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

It's clear that emo stress, perceptions of overwork, being alone, and evening are the challenge times for me.

When I'm feeling upset, angry, bored, stressed, and/or tired I have a tendency to reach "Stuff I Oughtn't Have." And just the fact that I am heavier than I want to be and and feeling kind of old and unattractive, and that I am worried about some health issues that are certainly related to eating makes me start with a baseline of stress.

I certainly understand why the Overeaters Anonymous folks say "HALT." (Don't get too Hungry, Angry, Tired, Lonely). I just looked up some ways to use HALT (i.e., if I didn't know!). Here's what I'm reminding myself:

So: On one hand I'm feeling like s*** and discouraged because it seems like it's going to take a very serious focus on my part to get the weight off (again) because this postmenopausal metabolism seems to have no room for error...and I'm not sure where I can find my "comfort" if I completely stop all the behaviors (i.e., eating behaviors) that I find take the edge off when I'm stressed.

What I've concluded is that I need to do MORE emotional comforting of myself when I am stressed (see article above) and also need to learn how to be with emotional discomfort without wigging out. Hmmm... This is also leading back to my Hakomi work where mindfulness is the key. I'll be focusing on being present to the discomfort without having to have it be different than it is. That, in itself, sometimes transforms the discomfort all by itself.

So my new commitment is to practice mindfulness in my daily life -- especially when I am feeling pressure. My new mantra needs to be "check in, don't check out." So I'm going to check in and do what I can to first notice myself and then, if needed, give myself something appropriate to help me (i.e., a break or a walk or a nap or a glass of tea or a call to a friend). I'm also going to make a practice of simply noticing and being with any of those HALT feelings -- leaning into the thorn -- without having to have them be different.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • HOLLYM48
    emoticon emoticon The journey is not always easy, but you are worth the effort that you will spend getting there! Keep on pushing!
    1612 days ago
    Nice blog amiga. Mindfulness is the key. Hungry, Angry, Tired, Lonely...I can add Content to that. Hell I even want to overeat when everything is going my way and I feel content. I just love food. Right now I'm on Weight Watchers (for the accountability and it really is a sensible lifestyle plan) and getting weekly acupuncture. I stay active and eat healthy, but am still struggling with portion control. Can't seem to move below 220...but hey it is better than the 260 I carried around for decades. Call me anytime amiga. If you are ever in the Burg....maybe we can meet up. Te amo emoticon
    1616 days ago
    I am right here with you my friend. I am doing the same. After the knee surgeries, I lost weight because when I was on the pain pills, I did not want to eat. I forced myself to eat so that I would not lose a ton of weight, and then try to keep it off. Well, I did lose about 25 pounds, which I put back on when winter because so bad here that I was not able to get out of the house at all, and I became depressed again. Yes, I too comfort myself with food.

    I have begun working on portion control, and telling myself that I can have that ice cream, or whatever, maybe tomorrow or the next day. That has worked for me in the past, because then I don't feel deprived, I can still have it.

    Also working on getting back to the negating all of the negative feelings, and trying to replace them with positive thought

    I have realized that is what I did for the first 3 years of this journey, before the back and knees became such an issue. I had fallen back into all of the old habits.
    It is an ongoing struggle, but one day at a time, we can do this.

    God Bless and good luck. We can do this together.

    1617 days ago
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