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Need to talk to someone...

Thursday, June 12, 2014

I can't vent on my fb page since my family reads it.

I just really need to talk or write things out.

I met a really nice guy online and he's nearly everything I need emotionally. We've not yet met in real life but he really wants to. Here's the issue, and I know it will make me sound like a heartless bitch: he's been in a wheelchair since a bad car accident when he was 17. So he can't give me what I need physically.
I need someone who can take care of me. I am having so much difficulty walking and I'm already my mother's caregiver. I don't need to go into another relationship knowing that I will be his, even tho he says I won't.
Now onto the next issue...I desperately need someone to talk to my kids & kind out WTF the problem is!!
I need someone who will be brutally honest with me & tell me exactly what they say but also to try to convince them to talk to me and forgive me, not because I deserve their forgiveness but because they deserve peace.
I'm fairly sure that my daughter thinks I abandoned her when she was 17--even tho I didn't & fully expected her to move in with me after she graduated from high school. I also thought that I'd have kept custody of my son & he'd still be living with me as well.
I am an emotional wreck and it's all I can do to keep from constantly crying.



My son forbade me from attending his high school graduation last year & my daughter wouldn't let me attend her college graduation last month.

I'm not a bad mother...even the guardian ad litem & lawyers told the judge that. I picked the wrong guy after their father.

Communication has always been an issue, or rather lack thereof. I think that if my ex would've talked more we might still be together. After a while, you get tired of feeling like a single mom when you've been married for 20 years.

IDK if this helped of not but I can't talk about this with my family since they always end up saying that I should've done things differently. I can't change the past, I need help with my future.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I guess I should have added that he was his mother's caregiver until she fell & he couldn't take care of her any more so he sent her to a nursing home. I guess that's stuck in my mind. I have so many physical ailments that I need someone who can actually pick me up when I fall...
    1777 days ago
    Think JENNIFER19 hit the nail on the head. emoticon
    1777 days ago
    I know I might be a bit young and all to understand a whole lot here. In the love aspect if love is true and pure it will survive through all barriers and never shall it perish. My husband was a bit homeless and his fam abandoned him and I took care of him as much as I could because I knew I loved him even if I was 16 at the time. Now he is a marine, a great husband, great father, and does so much for me as much as I do for him. I love him no matter what even if he were to deploy and get hurt to the point of him being incapacitated. Sacrificing for my beloved half is nothing for me. If you love a person with all your might then it shouldn't matter how they look or what they can or can't do. You would be with the person you love because of their internal heart and soul.

    Sacrifice is something you do for a loved one :). When I was in high school I was a bit selfish I had a grandmother I loved like a mother who had cancer and was incapacitated by it, she went though chemo. It hurt to see her like that but I was too young and selfish to understand that taking her to the restroom and cleaning her or washing her was not a chore but a need. She passed away a year later and I still have regrets for not helping her out as much as I could.

    About your children I can't say much but know how they would feel. Their thought are that their parents are always suppose to be together and by breaking up like that it makes they feel like you ruined their life. They will accept it maybe later on in life not so soon. Do not rush them for forgiveness, the healing processes is long and hard but I'm sure they still love you :).

    This is what I think and believe and I hope this would help you :) I know I'm young so just take all the positives from my comment and sorry if I offended you in any way.
    1777 days ago
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