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Walking Away

Saturday, June 07, 2014

This weekend--all day Friday through Sunday--I'm caretaking my mom who has dementia. As anyone knows who deals with a loved one with any form of dementia, it can be extremely stressful. I'm lucky that I have siblings who share in the care and it doesn't fall all on me or even mostly on me.

Mom is at the stage where she gets angry and mean. Not all the time, but frequently. It is hard to deal with this because nothing I say or do is right or helps. And 5 minutes later, she doesn't remember what I said anyway. So I've learned to walk away. Not away from the house or even out of the house, just out of Mom's sight. Walking away serves several purposes. It helps me deal with the stress, it gives me time to shake off the anger, hurt, frustration and it gives her time to flip into another mood. Or not. If when I walk back, she is still raging, I turn and walk away again. Eventually, she calms down. On bad days, this can go on for hours. Those are hard. Yesterday wasn't too bad, she just raged for a couple of hours in the late afternoon and had calmed down by the time she went to bed which made for a good night for both of us.

Walking away. Calms my mind and does wonders for my step count. emoticon





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  • no profile photo CD14291083
    I hope you managed to get your mom outside and enjoy the lovely weather. These illnesses are the most stressful.
    2218 days ago
  • SANDRALEET
    My husband is in a care fusibility has dementia and a bad stroke Mom also has dementia No fun
    2218 days ago
  • LIZSPRINGSTEEN
    Sometimes all you can do is walk away!
    2218 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14387431
    This must be so difficult at times, but God gave you only what you can endure.... this is called longsuffering. I am praying for you. (((hugs)))

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    2218 days ago
  • SFSU-GRAD
    Great job realizing the best way to deal with an extremely difficult situation. Best to you.

    2218 days ago
  • SLIMMERJESSE
    My mom has been angry and mean all my life, so I know how hard this is. I did have to extricate myself to be free from undeserved hurts from her. Wishing you the best. Take care of yourself.
    2218 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    It sounds like walking away is the best thing that you can do. Their mind is no longer theirs and so remember the good times and let this time go. Cherish the good moments. It is a very difficult disease. Best of luck to you.
    2218 days ago
  • TINAJANE76
    I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. My family went through a similar thing with my grandmother who had Alzheimer's for many years. I know it can be hard, but try to keep in mind that she's not being herself and not take the nasty things she says personally. Also consider doing the best you can to stay calm (my grandmother responded best when the people around her were calm and didn't feed into her anger) and, if need be, keep on walking away when it gets to be too much to take. Your strategy seems sound and will likely be a sanity saver for you.
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    2218 days ago
  • SHOAPIE
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    2218 days ago
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