SAMWRITES
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Being Bad & Feeling Melancholy

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

I haven't set foot in the gym this week. Not for lack of "want to" though. More because I'm feeling rather blah and doing so much to prep for this trip. Somehow I have to find the energy to do it all. It is really going to be a balancing act. Seeing real results means I'm going to have to find some consistency in my routine. I don't think that's going to happen until I find a better and more stable job.

I'm finding myself a bit melancholy the last week or so. My life is pretty solitary really. I guess that is why I am glad that I live with my parents right now. Not only are they supportive of the life changes I am trying to make but, my mother really is like my best friend. We hang out together like buddies. We go to movies, we go shopping, we have coffee and all the normal stuff. She doesn't do writers groups but, there I'm among peers who get the profession and it is easy to talk shop. But, I am finding that I want more social interaction and I am having a hard time connecting with people in the local area.

I'm a fish out of water right now. I'm artsy and prefer coffee and conversation to getting out and drinking until I fall down. I like to do artsy activities like going to the theater, or being a part of a production, painting, or attending a writers salon. Yes, I like to go to my gym. But I would also like to find someone who would be game for trying Zumba with me or (as I am able) try a yoga class or some other activity.

I tried an ad on Craigslist platonic section. And for some reason all the responses come with all these weird expectations of a romance forming. I'm not looking for a romance. I don't really need that sort of headache right now. I need to focus on my career and getting my life on track. And the "insta-relationship" has not been good for me in the past.

Now, I'm not saying I'm anti-relationship for the rest of my life. I'd like to meet someone and fall in love again. Sure. But, after all that's happened to me, if that's going to happen it will be with someone who started off as a good friend first. Not some numbskull that I met on Craigslist or a dating site who thinks that they can stake a claim after a couple of lines of emails in which they share virtually nothing about themselves and then call me uptight when they make a pass and I put the brakes on.

I know that this will pass. Eventually, I'll figure it out. But, for now, I have a lot to get finished. I have to pack, I'm going to be spending two and a half weeks traveling and with family. I'm sure it will help to give me some perspective.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BLONDEMUSE1970
    Have a great trip with your family! Find places to walk that are different while you are gone - I always enjoy doing that on trips.

    I write as well, but only for my own enjoyment. Historical fiction mostly. Having a bit of writer's block lately - I keep starting things and it's just not THERE - you know? It's somehow lacking - so it's been frustrating.

    Anyway - have a good time on the trip!

    Sherry
    2020 days ago
  • SAMWRITES
    Oh if only I were still in my 20s. Honestly, I think I'm just looking in the wrong places for socialization. It seems that no matter where I turn the people here lack maturity. So, when I come back I am just going to start going to more artistic events.
    2021 days ago
  • BUTTER808FLY
    I think men use the word "uptight" when I woman won't put out to them sexually. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I've heard this type of thing before somewhere. I'm glad to hear that you are into healthy activities as opposed to the bars. I don't know how old you are, but I assume in your 20s where that type of thing is still hip and relevant to life. By one's 30s it's not as hip so I guess you are one up on life! I would have prefered to find myself in the depths and interest of art and writing when I was younger as oppposed to bars and drugs. It sounds like your thing is just finding the right crowd or certain people that understand you. I hope I can find some good friends too who "get me". This sure is important to life too, isn't it? I hope it goes well for you too.
    2021 days ago
  • NEPTUNE1939
    Yes, it will pass. In the meantime fall in love with your being. That means caring enough for yourself - picture yourself healthy, active, and mindful of exercise. Even walking a racetrack pattern in your house for 30 to 45 minutes will benefit your cardiovascular system. emoticon emoticon
    2023 days ago
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