Been Away too Long
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
I have a problem with commitment. It's not just for committing to relationships, It is with committing to myself. I find that Even if I want something, I end up feeling defeated and give up. This is something I NEED to work on. NOT just when It pertains to Spark, but everywhere in my life.
I recently switched to Overnight shift . I LOVE it, I am finally getting RESTFUL and ENOUGH sleep. Not just since starting this job 5 yrs ago..............but I believe ever since I started school in 1st grade. I am a Night Owl, I always have been. When I had my surgery at age 5, I remember being up in the middle of the night when all the other kids were still sleeping. I would sit at the nurses desk and hang out with them for a while. I have always been cranky when being woken up. and it has ALWAYS been difficult to get up early in the a.m. My mother would accuse it was because I stayed up all night, but even if I went to bed early , I still struggle with getting out of bed early.
I recently purchased a New (to me) car. My last one I had for over 9 yrs, and honestly it was falling apart on me. LITERALLY. that was a MAJOR stress in my life. not having savings, or credit to get a decent car really put my stress through the roof. Luckily with my job I was able to borrow against my invested 401k. My plan was to buy a small SUV for a couple of thousand dollars and then hopefully in 3 yrs trade it in. Giving me time to work more on building (and repairing) my credit. The car I got is AWESOME I love it. It's been a while since I have driven anything of this size (I learned to drive in a Chevy Suburban, and drove an Extended Roof/Cab Ford Econoline with Lift gate, but for the last 15 yrs or so I have been driving very small cars (Geo's, Eclipse, etc) SO I need to practice backing up and parallel parking. When I got this checked the mechanic said EVERYTHING had been maintained very well. Brand new tires and breaks, they put a lot of money in it. I LOVE This car
With those two changes in my life, I have lost over 11 lbs without any effort. I haven't really changed anything! SO I figure life is handing me a gift. I NEED to get back and commit myself to MYSELF! I need to work on ME.
and then maybe I can commit to that guy who has been trying to get me to for over 8 yrs? (NOT talking marriage, just dating, I keep putting him off)