It's been a while- things will only get better
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
It has been a while SP, I have visited, but you wouldn't know it.
I have been busy-- getting my children to and from doctors appointments-- and myself.
I have fibroid tumor, about the size of a softball-- with abnormal looking tissue around it. I have been back and forth with doctors-- I have an apt with a surgeon 6/4, for biopsy and talk about a hysterectomy.
I can watch my midsection grow-- literally... I can wear a size 12 in the morning, and by the end of the day I am in sweatpants- because the size 18's are tight. BUT at least I know why now-and it isn't my fault!
Guilt tears us apart- it sabotages our emotions and skews reality.
I have lost and gained over 15 pounds this month alone-- from 220 to 202 back to 215--- this has been the "norm" for me for 3 years. I cannot blame my eating habits, lack of exercise--- I try I really do-- I am anemic my body cannot regulate what I need to sustain normal levels for activity.
Instead of using this as an excuse, I am doing what I can WHEN I can.
I have been walking daily-- up to 5 miles a day-- Now I am ready to amp that up and see how my body reacts- to 25 minutes of Jillian--
40 above/37 below the girls
46 B/T 26.5 Left--27 Right
17.5 R/L C
14.5 R/L B
I cannot beat myself up- but I cannot except excuses either
Post-surgery will be easier if I improve cardio health, and try to train up those muscles so they can heal faster.
Turn up the music my friends-- Rock this Tuesday and DO IT-- even if it is just for 5 minutes... You are worth every moment of health- add on as you can, do what you can, challenge and push yourself to be better not broken.