It's been awhile.
Monday, May 19, 2014
I feel as if I have been on an emotional roller coaster lately. About 2 months ago, my mom had a mild heart attack. She is okay. The doctors put her on a bunch of new meds and she is losing some weight. Old habits are hard to break though and I have watched her slip back into her old habits
On Easter, we were celebrating over at my sister's house. Everyone was having a good time and getting along (something that has been difficult lately). We were just sitting down to eat when my dad went completely gray and unresponsive. Luckily, my cousin, who is in the medical field, was there to tell us what to do. I helped her lay him flat. She started trying to take his pulse and couldn't find one. I had my hand on his chest trying to shake him awake. I couldn't feel any movement. No breathing and no heartbeat. It felt like forever to me, but Shane told me it was only about a minute. Then my dad took a very shallow ragged breath and I could feel his heartbeat again. He was disoriented. He thought my cousin was my sister (they look nothing alike). He went from gray to yellowish. We had to wait on the squad because they were at another call, but the guy who runs the station came down. A plus for my sis living 8 houses down from the station! He assessed the situation and had us sit dad up. Dad was starting to come around a bit. When the quad got there, they checked his bp and took his sugar. Then dad had another episode. His bp completely bottomed out and they rushed to get him loaded. Once loaded they worked on him for about 10 minutes. They took his sugar again and it was 55 so they gave him glucose. I still don't know what else they did. They got him stable enough to take him to the hospital. Once there they decided the whole thing was caused by his sugar bottoming out. My sister and I don't trust our local hospital though. They are bottom of the food chain as far as medicine goes around here. My sister had a talk with the guy that was there first. The first time my dad's sugar was checked, it was fine. He doesn't think that was the cause, but rather a symptom. He suggested my dad get a stress test. Of course my dad is happier to say it was his sugar from not eating and that he is just fine.
The only plus side of my dad's episode was the fact that my mom finally realized how useless my brother is in an emergency situation. My sister and I have been trying unsuccessfully for years to get our parents to change their emergency contact. They have always kept it as our brother because he is the oldest. But he loses it. He can't make any decisions because he just shuts down and becomes this big blubbery mess. Which is crazy because he is actually trained to deal with emergencies! I guess it's different when it's your family. I was surprised at my sister though. She is usually just as bad or worse than our brother, but she kept it fairly together. I was impressed especially considering that she is also dealing with ppd right now. Nobody expected her to keep it together. She is going to be their new emergency contact. She lives closer and has a car. We became a one car family a few months ago so I am not as reliable.
Shane turned 40 in March. His birthday marked the official end to us trying for baby #3. On one hand, I am glad. being a stay at home mom is not easy. In fact, I hate it. I need to be out interacting with people. I need to have a paycheck. I hate feeling like I don't contribute. We have run the numbers. There is just no way me working right now is financially beneficial.
On the other hand, I am incredibly sad and mad. I wanted another baby. I wanted to try to give Shane a boy. I hate that my body will not work right!
So ya those are the main things that have been going on lately. I didn't mean for this to become a full on vent, but maybe I needed it.