This morning, as soon as I woke up, I got out of bed and went into the guest bathroom to weigh myself on my new scale. This is probably a very ordinary sounding thing, but it was a pretty big event for me!
You see, a little over two years ago, I decided that I was going to do something about my obesity. I weighed 286 lbs and my every day life was a pain. I was in terrible shape! My knees and hips and ankles hurt when I walked. I got out of breath just standing at the kitchen sink to wash dishes. Even the slightest exertion would make my heart race.
I didn't exercise. I was addicted to food and a sedentary lifestyle. But I was so tired of living that way! So in March of 2012, I decided to make a change. I chose a phrase that motivated me;
Once I got started, "Be your own hero" was my daily mantra. I FELT heroic. Every day was a struggle to get through a workout or to avoid the junk food that I had gotten addicted to. It would have been easier to quit, but I forced myself to keep going. I was struggling, but I reminded myself that my struggles would make me stronger in the end.
In addition to working out and eating right, I also ditched the scale after getting my starting weight. Some of my Spark friends were shocked when I told them that I wasn't going to weigh myself anymore. But it was the right thing for me. I didn't want to have the scale hanging over my head. Instead, I was going to measure my success simply by NSV's. (Non-scale victories.)
This worked really great for me! Without weighing in, I was able to focus more on the changes that were happening over the next weeks and months. I had some amazing NSV's! My clothes got looser...I found that my endurance during workouts was increasing....I could feel muscles forming....I was getting stronger....more flexible during yoga...sleeping better...and the best one of all, the day when hubby was able to hug me and his arms went all the way around my waist!
Another NSV that made an impression on me happened one afternoon as I was doing yoga. I've converted our living room into my "warrior zone" (workout room, lol) but back in 2012, I did my workouts in a corner of the bedroom. It was JUST enough room for my yoga and cardio workouts. Well, this particular afternoon as I was doing yoga, I realized that something felt different. It seemed like I had more room to workout in. At first, I thought that perhaps my hubby had pushed the furniture back. But then it hit me...the furniture wasn't pushed back. The reason that I had more room to workout in was because there was less of me working out! I'd gotten smaller, so my workout area seemed bigger!
For me, a number on the scale could never compare to a cool NSV like that!
Anyway, for a long time, I've done great without owning a scale. Trashing the scale was the right choice for me when I made it. But times have changed. I've been plateauing and gaining.....plateauing and gaining. I can tell, because my clothes are much too tight. I've been stubbornly holding on to the things that worked for me back in 2012, even though those things aren't working for me anymore. I've gained weight.
So I got a scale. Not only that, but I've un-retired my food scale and measuring cups. I thought I could do well enough just filling my plate with what LOOKS like a proper serving size. But that isn't working. From now on, I'm going to be very vigilant about measuring my food. And I'm going to weigh myself every Monday.
I'm not going to get hung up in the numbers, though. NSV's are still the most important thing to me.
The last time I weighed myself (prior to this mornings weigh in) was back in February. I used my Wii Fit to do it and thats when I discovered that I'd re-gained 31 of the 71 lbs I'd lost.
When I got on the scale this morning, I saw that I am 5 lbs heavier than that. I've actually gained back 36 lbs, not 31. Maybe its just the difference in the two scales, but I'm not upset by it. I wrote the number down in my food journal, and then I worked out.
My mantra is still "Be Your Own Hero", and even though I've had some pretty big slip ups, I am STILL a hero because I am not ever going to give up on myself. I know what I'm capable of and I know that I'm worth my best effort. Now its time to prove it.