Sunday, May 11, 2014
So I went from 163 to 164 and it wasn't a big deal, I could live with that. But then my uncle went to the hospital and I became very stressed out and worried. I began to lightly snack on mixed nuts, peanut butter, and Quaker popped chips which aren't really all that unhealthy. I weighed in yesterday at 165.6 and I became alarmed and slightly mortified. I weighed myself today and I'm now 167 and feel completely lost and horrible. I'm really down and hard on myself and truly do feel as if I have failed. I've felt like a failure my entire life and now I see this 4 pound weight gain as another example of me failing. The negative self talk is loud and clear today and it being Mother's Day isn't helping any.
I'm unsure if the weight gain is due to me consuming too many calories, not working out enough, from constipation, stress, or because I should be getting my monthly soon. I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for 4 pounds in 1.5 weeks is alarming and scary. I don't know what to think of this huge gain and I don't know what to do to fix it and lose the 4 pounds I some how gained.
I have been working out as much as possible during this tough time and I've been sick with a cold making it difficult to have any energy to do anything but I've been pushing through it. I'm trying my best not to freak out but I am :(
I wasn't able to go to the bathroom for a week and finally was able to go yesterday. I'm now left feeling in pain, stomach is in knots, and I have absolutely no appetite. The smell of food this morning literally made my stomach do flip flops and I have some slight nausea going on.