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Living it.

Monday, April 28, 2014

This has been an important year. This has been the year I stopped working at maintaining my weight as job to do and instead I've made it my life.

Working outside the home I spent a long time trying to hold onto old patterns of cooking twice or more a day, tracking all my food on SparkPeople, and working out every day on top of additional work. It was exhausting. I had to step back, reassess, and cut back to what I could manage versus what I wanted to do.

I tested boundaries of when I could eat as well as what to eat, even skipping snacks or realizing I didn't need to indulge every snack. Altering my diet turned out more forgiving and not as dire as I made it out to be in my head.

It is no longer necessary to enforce that I must exercise each day, too. Instead I bring opportunities for exercise into my day when and where it is most convenient, like strength training at the gym after work or doing cardio on my bike trainer at home, yoga on Fridays.

I learned to be flexible with diet and exercise which opened up further options for my social life and local support system, an area of my life I need a lot of work.

I continue to struggle with stress eating; for that I need to seek professional help. Luckily I now pay for the insurance to be able to do that. This should also help with the challenges I experience coming to terms with my asexuality, mixed with my frustrations for societies standards of sexuality, relationships, and gender.

This summer I will be moving into a new apartment, seeking new and safe relationships, working the jobs I enjoy, having some physical, dental, and mental work done, as well as getting back to a more comfortable size by allocating less time to cooking and more time for exercise.

It feels like a graduation. I haven't meant to disappear but my needs and my goals have outgrown the services that SparkPeople and it's wonderful community provides. I have gained so much here, finally learning to love my body and the bodies of everyone else, finally finding the difference between weight and comfort, sharing the struggles of so many. I will treasure those memories forever.

Being healthy and happy is how I exist. Now for the hard part: platonic dating. Yikes!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • OOLALA53
    Yes! I've never been able to imagine myself tracking and counting forever, so I quit five years ago and came up with alternatives that allow me to ride the wave wherever I go. I used to travel a lot in the Third World- no calorie counts, few scales, etc. yet I was the thinnest of my adult life. Regular modest meals, a lot of walking -harder to make routine when I am not a tourist- not much eating for the sake of it, even though there was plenty of time and opportunity. Enough has to be enough.
    1252 days ago
    Awesome, Tina. Sounds like you've had a nice first few months of the year and I'm really happy that you've been able to find a greater flexibility that's allowed you to expand your horizons in other areas. Good luck with all of your future plans and please give us a holler every now and then to let us know how everything's going!
    1516 days ago
  • MISSB8604
    You are amazing and this blog was wonderful. I'm so happy that you have really found yourself and know the work that you have to do. I congratulate you and wish you the very best.
    1517 days ago
  • KANOE10
    You have made so many positive changes in your life. Your realization that you need to be flexible in your life instead of rigidly following rules, is invaluable. I am learning that also. It is a lifestyle change. I am glad you are finding yourself in so many areas.

    Mainly I am so pleased you are healthy and happy. Plus you are accepting your body as well as those of others.

    My warm thoughts go with you as you navigate your wonderful new life. Hugs.
    1517 days ago
  • BILL60
    Well said and well done.
    1517 days ago
  • ELLIE381
    You are doing wonderful things. You need time to enjoy life, it is sometimes very short.
    So happy to hear the happiness in your words. You can do anything. emoticon emoticon
    1517 days ago
  • ZRIE014
    just remember that this is the first day of the rest of your life, make the most of it.
    1517 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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