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Depression or Not

Monday, April 28, 2014

Depression or not life goes on and this weekend was no different. While I wasn’t feeling well enough to go to dinner with a friend Thursday and see a friend’s show Friday, I could not miss the benefit on Saturday night and a friend’s wedding on Sunday. Once Saturday rolled around (after a mini meltdown because I miscalculated my budget for the next two weeks), I was numb emotionally, but got myself dressed to go.

It was amazing.

I got so many compliments on my dress, it was so nice and really lifted my spirits.

A wonderful time was had by all, including our sponsors and attendees. With this benefit, my theatre company wiped out our debt and will be ready to go once fall rolls around. It was blessing to get to sing with Mary Wilson (of the Supremes), Tracie Thomas (actress from RENT the musical), Sean Hayes, Wendie Malick and the fabulous Betty White. The entire evening was nothing but love and positivity. My “job” for the night was bartending along with 5 others and altogether we made over $500 in tips that we got to keep! After finding out I had no money earlier in the day, getting $85 was a definite blessing. Around 1am I walked through the CBS lot shoes in hand. Nothing but the world 'thankful' ran through my mind.

While my fellow company members and I were singing on stage, I had a moment of clarity when I watched an acquaintance of mine lightly push others out of her way so that she could be in front of the line (which included MARY WILSON). As a side, this person does this all of the time and she pushes her way in front no matter what the occasion. If she’s in a room full of people, she must be the center of attention. If the night isn’t about her, it will be because somehow, some way she’ll figure out a way to make everyone aware of her presence. Her boobs usually make an entrance as well.

Every actor I know wants to be famous, successful. Every actor wants to work consistently and constantly. At the end of the day, when you lay your head at night what will you have accomplished by acting the way she does? Reputation is everything in show business. I’ve seen fellow actors get gigs simply because they were wonderful to work with (I’ve been that actor several times), even if they weren’t the best of the best. No one wants to spend time with a group of nasty, mean-spirited people. Duh right? Anyway, back to my revelation. The real point of doing this crazy thing called show business is the ability to do my craft well (I hope) and surround myself with amazing people. Using others as your stepping stone is not the way to go and certainly will come back to you 10 fold (it has happened to me more than once unfortunately).

Humility is key. Love is essential. Respect is deserved.

If I continue to be myself, stay dedicated to my craft and treat others with respect I’ll do far better than someone who doesn’t. This blog is not to say that I’m better than she is, but it simply reminded me to stay the course, to not give up. If this is where I’m meant to be, then I’ve got to keep going and I have to stay true to what is essentially MissB8604. If my being kind to others, dedicated to my work and putting 200% into everything got me to where I am today, I shouldn’t stop. Life has been very hard for me lately, but I can’t forget all of the positive things. This past Saturday night showed me that.

I need to embrace myself; embrace where my life is right now and how things are right now. No, things aren’t where I’d like to be, but accepting it will certainly help me make the ride a lot less bumpy. Be grateful for who you are, and do the best you can. One day you’ll find yourself in better company doing what you love (or at least getting there). Accepting myself is one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to do (right next to losing 100lbs), I’m not even sure where to begin but I am at least dedicated to making the first few steps.

A dear friend of mine (on the left in 1st picture) and his partner of 12 years got married yesterday. I was honored to have been invited and it was a beautiful day for them both.

Depression or not life goes on.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    A. You look GREAT in that dress.

    B. This blog is a breath of fresh air.

    C. Did I mention you look GREAT in that dress?
    1804 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    I LOVE,

    "Humility is key. Love is essential. Respect is deserved."

    This was a great blog and you were rockin' that dress! :)
    1818 days ago
    And once one's life goes on, VOILA! We've got MOMENTUM!

    I always remind myself of Newton's Laws of Physics:

    An object at rest tends to stay at rest.

    An object in motion tends to stay in MOTION!

    Sometimes just dragging ourselves outta bed or wherever we happen to be "troughed out" and putting one foot ahead of the other can bring such sweet rewards! So pleased for your wonderful time with terrific friends!

    1819 days ago
  • no profile photo LOFLLAMA
    I am so proud to know you!
    1819 days ago
    You look emoticon truly awesome and delighted to hear how wonderful your weekend was....
    1819 days ago
    You are absolutely beautiful. And what a wonderful weekend!
    1819 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    You look FABULOUS!! Glad you had a great weekend! emoticon
    1820 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    Oh Brit!! you look stunning in your "must-have "dress!! The pearls were the best choice, and beautiful!! To sing with Mary Wilson, what a thrill!! I am so glad you went back and got that dress!! Very classy, very elegant and very YOU!

    Every thing you attend, every play, gig,etc you do, is another page in our life of action, discovery, and sheer joy in your craft. Depression is the thing to deal with and you are blessed to have a handle on it and be surrounded by people who support you.(Brit 2)
    1820 days ago
    wow you rocked the dress!
    Oh and I love sean hayes and Mary Wilson so pretty jelly over here lol
    but anyways you looked awesome, you rock!!
    1820 days ago
    you look amazing in those picture...but then again...YOU ARE AMAZING.,
    Happiness and success come with respecting yourself and having others appreciate who you are. You are more in touch with being beautiful person...than your acquaintance...but sadly, she may not even realize (or care) about pushing others our of the way. She may even feel happy getting ahead that way. But in the end, when the party is over, YOU will have more to be happy and at peace with who You are than she will.

    Shine on MissB emoticon
    1820 days ago
    First I have to tell you, you look MARVELOUS in that dress!! Awesome.

    You are getting on with life and life is starting to cooperate! Keep the faith!

    Love the pictures. Thanks for sharing those.

    1820 days ago
    Im glad things went well and you look beautiful in your dress.
    1820 days ago
    This was very insightful. You are your own therapist, so if depression is there (or not) then you got the cure sitting right in your ability to reflect and write down your best motivating ideas.

    You go girl!

    1820 days ago
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