Anything Is Possible If You Just Believe
Thursday, April 24, 2014
When losing weight we become obsessed with numbers whether it be the size of the clothes we're wearing, the weight on the scale, body fat percentages, measurements, and bmi numbers. I was victim of this. I became addicted to the scale and the numbers reflecting back at me that I began to weigh in 2 times a day every day for months. When the number showed a gain it was as if my world was crumbling around me and I felt like a failure. I slowly realized that weight loss isn't about the many different numbers that is focused upon but rather it is about the journey and the emotions that one goes through.
I could sit here and say oh sure numbers mean nothing and aren't important at all but that would be a lie. Some numbers are important but becoming so anal about the numbers is what takes away the joy of the journey. I'm just glad that I figured that out before it was too late and before I ran out of joys to enjoy. Life isn't about how much you weigh or what size clothes you wear, it's about the little moments, the big moments, the many different emotions we experience, and it's about self-growth and realizing who you are and who you want to become.
In my college class for Life Management the instructor was amazing at coming up with visuals and assignments that got students to think about who they wanted to be when they were old and gray haired. Would I make it to old age? If I did would I want to be out of shape and unhealthy? These were questions that I pondered daily while attending that class and it got me thinking that no, I probably would not make it to the end if I didn't put forth 100% effort into losing weight and becoming a healthy woman. Sure I was making small efforts to lose but was it enough? Was I truly putting in 100% effort into myself? No, I wasn't and that made me want to take more active steps to get to my goal.
Along the way on this very long 7 year journey I have realized this is MY journey that no one could ever take away from me. It hasn't been an easy road to travel on but was it worth it? Was it worth the sweat, the tears, and the pain? You betcha! It's been worth every little ounce of effort I have put into it. I feel better about myself not because I'm smaller now but because I DID IT! Not someone else doing it for me or helping me achieve something great and amazing but ME 100% doing this on my own and working my tushy off to reach my goals.
During this process I have not only found myself but I can see who I want to be waiting at the finish line. I know who I am and what my future goals are. Before I was just moving along with life passing by. I was this shy and quiet human being who walked with her head firmly planted down. I would never look people in the eye as I walked and I avoided conversation. Now on my morning walks I make sure to hold my head high for I am proud of who I have become. I nod and will say good morning. Who on earth is this woman I've become? I've become someone I knew was always there but hidden and sheltered by my own hand for I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to converse with a fat chick. I was wrong and probably missed out on opportunities such as new friends but I've realized the error in my ways and have turned things around.
Life is coming full circle as my loss journey is coming to a close very soon but it is the start of a new journey called maintaining. I know I can do this because I've already lost 183 pounds to date. If I can do that I can truly do anything as long as I believe and set my mind to it. Anything is possible if you just believe. Those words have rung true for me and I hope they ring true for you as well. Don't be the woman I was letting life pass by because you're scared or because of your size. Numbers mean nothing. Numbers aren't as important as we make them out to be.
I didn't know it then but at a 24/26 I was this awesome person and I'm still just as awesome at a 10/12. If I knew what I know now I can only imagine how great things could have been. Instead of living and wishing for things in the past I shall focus on here and now and my very bright future. When dwelling on the past you allow the present to walk right on by. Start living for we only get 1 life and 1 shot at making life what we want it to be. I have chosen to live and I have chosen to become a healthier version of me.
Often times I've heard people say weight loss changes a person and on some level that is correct. I am still the same woman I was in 2006 but I have grown, matured, learned, and have become more self-aware. None of those are bad things but I'd like to think I'm still that shy quiet woman but instead I have an over flowing abundance of confidence now.