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So much for chocolate

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

I've been struggling for quite some time since My Guy passed with getting my eating patterns under control again, and using the self-discipline I've taught myself over the years. I know it's emotional eating, and this isn't new; I've been an emotional eater for a very, very long time.

My preferred comfort food is chocolate.

Last winter, I noticed I was having problems with my blood sugar in the mornings, and after a little research, I discovered that I can't digest cow's milk properly.

Guess what kind of chocolate I prefer?

Yep, milk chocolate.

I've had a several weekends in a row where I've binged on chocolate on a Sunday, and by Monday, I feel like crap. I mean really sluggish, takes a couple days for the bloating to go away, that sort of thing. And let's just keep the guilt out of this blog for now.

Knowing that I tend to binge on Sunday afternoons & into early evening, I purposely bought 3 things of chocolate, so I would only eat that, and not half the house too. It was a small amount, and I hoped it wouldn't upset my innards.


Monday, I felt like a Christmas Parade float: slow moving, big, chunky, and having a hard time maneuvering corners (lack of balance).

The last 2 days, I've been coming to terms that I just can't eat chocolate, especially milk chocolate. Yeah, yeah, I can hear some of you now suggesting dark chocolate. It's not the same, and it never will be. On the flip side, I don't eat a lot of white chocolate, either. And knowing that chocolate is a gateway to a binge, it might not be such a bad thing that I can't eat chocolate as much as I want to.

This just reinforces that I have a lot more inner soul work to do, and to find better coping tools when the mood strikes to binge.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    ugh. nothing is the same as chocolate.
    milk chocolate, that is.

    despite it all, there's your wit that we all love in there with your description of yourself as a christmas float.

    i have no words. you're way better at knowing what you need to do for you than i am.
    just, im always here.
    1493 days ago
    You can do this. Make sure you find something to substitute for chocolate, especially this first week.
    1494 days ago
  • SIOL55
    You can do it. Stay positive and know that others are on the same journey. emoticon
    1494 days ago
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