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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

This morning I wake up at 4:30 and laid in bed until 5:30. I go out and start my coffee and thought I heard something but wasn't sure. A few minutes later Elijah comes into the living room without any pants or underwear because he drank too much last night and ended up having an accident this morning. Fortunately he didn't have an accident in his bed so I don't have to wash his sheets or blankets. It would have been nice to have a little bit of time to myself this morning to wake up. Elijah slept until 8 yesterday. Maybe he'll sleep in tomorrow. I know he won't take a nap today.

I may or may not make it to the fitness center tonight. It depends on if Elijah and I go swimming with our neighbors and what time we go swimming. What I may do is go to the pool a little bit earlier and then get out around 4:15 and head home and make some dinner and get ready to go to the fitness center and make some dinner. Not sure what we are having for dinner yet. I am thinking about doing the Biggest Loser power sculpt DVD tonight after Elijah goes to bed. It's a good DVD and my request to get off of eBay. If Elijah sleeps in tomorrow I am going to do the beginners body building DVD. I love going to the library and getting different DVDs to exercise with. It's nice to be able to try out different DVDs and see what I like and what I don't like.

I went to the fitness center on Monday after mom got home from work and had the fitness center to myself. I like it that way. I know anybody can come into the fitness center between the time it's open and the time it's closed but I don't like it when people come in and turn on the TV and talk a lot. I would love to get a membership to Planet Fitness. Somebody in the complex has a membership and I asked her if it was nice and she said it was. So once I get a job and if my schedule is right I'll be getting myself a membership to Planet Fitness. A change in the environment might do a world of wonders.

I need to stop letting my insecurities run my life. I've been having thoughts that I'm not good enough and that nothing I do will ever be good enough for my mom. I've felt that nothing I have do will ever be good enough for my mom for years now and that I will never be the perfect daughter like my sister. My sister was always able to get away with murder and I was always getting grounded every time I turned around. I quit trying to please my mom a long time ago. She's so frustrating. So I finished the scarf I was working on. My matching hat and scarf set is finished and washed and dried and super soft. I went onto Hobby Lobby's website yesterday and got a total for the yarn that I want to get for my next blanket. There are 9 colors and getting one of each color comes to about $36. So I don't know how many of each color I am going to get. I want to get 5 shades of grey, white, black, iced lilac and menthe. What I might do is get 2 of the 5 shades of grey and the black and white and one of the other two colors and use one of them as the border and one of them in between each color. I don't know yet. I have time to figure it out. Won't be getting any more yarn until I get the money for it. It is going to be soft before and after it is washed and dried.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Elijah doesn't have very many accidents at night in his bed. He has more during the day because he is too busy to stop what he's doing and go pee or he waits til the last minute. Boys.

    Carol, you have a good idea. I sometimes write down stuff in the form of a letter and then burn it. It helps a bit.
    1492 days ago
    I have an almost 9 yr old boy who still pees the bed and it drives me nuts. It runs on his dad's side of the family, but he's getting old enough where he should be able to hold his pee all night. My little girl isn't even 3 yet and she holds it all night! My almost 11 yr old boy stopped peeing the bed by 4. I don't know why my the middle child still has accidents, but it was the same with his dad, also the middle child. Crazy huh?
    1493 days ago
    It's a rare woman who can please her mother. My mother was 87 when she passed on, and she criticized me nearly to the day she died. I know many women of all ages in the same boat. Your mother may have her own issues with your sister, which is why she is so generous with her. But that has nothing to do with your value! It has everything to do with your mother's own issues, over which you have no control!

    The fact that you are living with your mother and can't get away from her comments obviously makes life more difficult for you. You are working on getting your own place, which will undoubtedly help you. Meanwhile, at SP we say the scale does not define us: neither should anyone else's opinion, including that of our mothers. Why not take her comments, write them down, and then burn them or toss them into the trash. (Don't burn all the trash and set the house on fire!) Maybe that will help you cope with them for the short term.
    1494 days ago
    Schedule some "me" time in your day. I think that will help you a lot.
    1494 days ago
  • PEG2584
    Sounds like you are kept very busy. Remember to make time for yourself, even if it just a few minutes.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1494 days ago
    sounds like a busy life emoticon
    1494 days ago
    "I need to stop letting my insecurities run my life. I've been having thoughts that I'm not good enough and that nothing I do will ever be good enough for my mom."

    I hope you can work on that soon. I suffer from the same thing and I KNOW if I would just let myself be a friend, not an enemy, I would realize how ridiculous those thoughts are.
    1494 days ago
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