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Pastry Perspective

Monday, April 21, 2014

Here’s a topic I saw on one of my teams today…

Do you tell people you’re trying to lose weight?

This subject came up in the team because these folks have less than 25 pounds to lose and feel they are often judged when they speak openly about weight loss. They feel because they weigh a fair amount less than someone who is, say, 100 pounds overweight that they get “eye rolls” and dismissive comments when they express their need to drop their excess pounds. Ironically enough, in their experience, it is often the obese person who is judging them. This bothers them. Rightly so?

Perhaps. But I’m not completely convinced.

I think this is all about perspective. It's as blind of those with 10 or 20 pounds to lose, to mock or judge what an obese person might say or think as it is for them to say or think it. What a perfect world it would be if we were free of judgment. But we are too human to bare the burden of perfection.

And thank God for that.

I was obese once and in situations where I'd see a person who weighed 100 pounds less than me who refused a Monday morning office doughnut, it was natural for me to roll my eyes and think something negative in that moment. Envy, is a dreadful human trait. I’d think, "If only I could be like that… That size, that strong-willed. Be that skinny and say no to doughnuts. Give me a break!" All the while, I’d think this was a compliment to that person. But it’s not. She was struggling too and I had no sympathy for her. Just resentment.

Meanwhile, she's thinking "The last thing that chic needs is a chocolate covered cruller!" Can you admit you have these thoughts when you see an obese co-worker reaching for pastries?

But what if "skinny girl" refused the doughnut because she had just eaten a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit from McDonalds and she is teeming with regret over it? And what if "chubby chic" ate the doughnut because she recently lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks and ran a 10K over the weekend and felt like she deserved this one reward? Neither knows the other's journey. Now who's right and who's wrong?


I've walked in both pairs of shoes. I've been 80 pounds overweight. Now I have 20 left to lose. Yet I still can't stop myself from judging or saying the wrong thing. I'm human. So are you.

So let's try to give each other and ourselves a break.

Shine every day!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JENHAM619
    Tina, your honesty is so refreshing! You put it so eloquently when you said we are all on our own journey.

    2505 days ago
  • PGHP31CK
    I keep reminding myself to keep my eyes on my own plate! You're spot-on, Tina!

    I work across the street from a bakery whose cupcakes have been voted best in town for the past 3 years, and I can see everyone who goes in and out from my office window. I have this conversation with myself on a daily basis!

    We need to put the best construction on EVERYTHING in life.

    2505 days ago
    I am so guilty of both scenarios! Envy is all it is...and judgement. I think women can be the best cheerleaders for each other ...but also their harshest critics. I pledge to work harder at cheering on every healthy journey!! Thanks for an important blog!!!

    2506 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12242035
    I really try to keep people's journeys in percpective. Of course it irks my nerves when someone who has been thin their whole lives complains about 10-15 pounds and talks about how fat they feel. But then I attitude check myself and realize that if that was a recent gain, or had never been any kind of overweight before, then yes, they probably feel as fat as I look to them. Like you said, we're all human, so I'm not perfect at it, but I do try to remember that weight especially is completely relative to the person carrying it.

    2506 days ago
    Preach on Sister. I agree whole heartedly.
    2506 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12169506
    So true Tina and well said!
    2506 days ago
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