Monday, April 21, 2014
Here’s a topic I saw on one of my teams today…
Do you tell people you’re trying to lose weight?
This subject came up in the team because these folks have less than 25 pounds to lose and feel they are often judged when they speak openly about weight loss. They feel because they weigh a fair amount less than someone who is, say, 100 pounds overweight that they get “eye rolls” and dismissive comments when they express their need to drop their excess pounds. Ironically enough, in their experience, it is often the obese person who is judging them. This bothers them. Rightly so?
Perhaps. But I’m not completely convinced.
I think this is all about perspective. It's as blind of those with 10 or 20 pounds to lose, to mock or judge what an obese person might say or think as it is for them to say or think it. What a perfect world it would be if we were free of judgment. But we are too human to bare the burden of perfection.
And thank God for that.
I was obese once and in situations where I'd see a person who weighed 100 pounds less than me who refused a Monday morning office doughnut, it was natural for me to roll my eyes and think something negative in that moment. Envy, is a dreadful human trait. I’d think, "If only I could be like that… That size, that strong-willed. Be that skinny and say no to doughnuts. Give me a break!" All the while, I’d think this was a compliment to that person. But it’s not. She was struggling too and I had no sympathy for her. Just resentment.
Meanwhile, she's thinking "The last thing that chic needs is a chocolate covered cruller!" Can you admit you have these thoughts when you see an obese co-worker reaching for pastries?
But what if "skinny girl" refused the doughnut because she had just eaten a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit from McDonalds and she is teeming with regret over it? And what if "chubby chic" ate the doughnut because she recently lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks and ran a 10K over the weekend and felt like she deserved this one reward? Neither knows the other's journey. Now who's right and who's wrong?
I've walked in both pairs of shoes. I've been 80 pounds overweight. Now I have 20 left to lose. Yet I still can't stop myself from judging or saying the wrong thing. I'm human. So are you.
So let's try to give each other and ourselves a break.
Shine every day!