HONEYBEEGRL77

SparkPoints
 

Honesty.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

I can't believe it's been two years since I've been on Spark People. I would love to sit here and say I'm at my goal weight and my health is amazing, but the reality is I'm back to square one. I'm lost. So I decided to be honest with myself and come back. This is not easy.

Here's where I am now: I'm struggling with my fibromyalgia again. I also have a herniated disk in my low back (L5) and I now have tendonitis in my knees and shoulders. I'm in pain. Plain and simple. The idea of working out in a gym is too much. So I've been going to an aquatic therapy exercise program. I get some movement a few times a week in an attempt to strengthen my body, but it isn't enough to see any weight loss. I'm wishing I was still in my early 20's, going to kickboxing and spin classes- but that's not where I am.

As for my health: In addition to the fibromyalgia, I have allergies and asthma to contend with and I keep getting fungal infections on my skin and nails. I've also been suffering from IBS again. I was even diagnosed with arthritis in my SI joint. So in other words, I'm an inflamed mess. I feel gross.

So here I am. I'm feeling desperate. It's been years since I've read Eat to Live and my plan this week is to reread the book. I picked up the new cookbook yesterday and I'm going to research recipes. I need to lose weight and get the inflammation under control. I can't live with this pain. I feel sick all the time and that doesn't work for me. I'm angry- mostly at myself - that I can't seem to get it together.

Small steps. I need to do this for myself and my quality of life.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD7658463
    emoticon
    2497 days ago
  • HONEYBEEGRL77
    Thanks ladies. It means a lot to me that you took time out of your day to read this and offer words of encouragement. emoticon
    2502 days ago
  • ZELLAZM
    Good to see you back! You are very brave to be facing all these health issues squarely in the face. It sounds like you have a good plan to work your way back to a good place. One step at a time, like you said, making use of the resources here on SP along with Eat to Live. We're here for ya!
    2503 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7670124
    Welcome back. And don't be too hard on yourself. You know you have to make changes and are taking the first steps, that's awesome. I was on spark religiously a few years ago and lost 75 pounds then somewhere I fell off the wagon, gained 40 of it back. I knew I had to come back before the other 35 came back. I felt discouraged and hopeless but am working on it using some of the things I learned last time. So it wasn't exactly like starting at square one. I did it before and can do it again and so can you.
    2503 days ago
  • DIANITAH
    So sorry to hear about your health struggles. I've dealt with health issues in the past three years and it's so challenging. I came to the conclusion to just work to maintain for a year or so. The fact that I did tells me that I will be able to maintain once I get to my goal. The journey has been longer than I expected.

    I really wish you the easing of your pain. My mom lives with arthritis and there are some days where it is just hard to move.

    Take care.
    2503 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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