Sunday, April 20, 2014

I can't believe it's been two years since I've been on Spark People. I would love to sit here and say I'm at my goal weight and my health is amazing, but the reality is I'm back to square one. I'm lost. So I decided to be honest with myself and come back. This is not easy.

Here's where I am now: I'm struggling with my fibromyalgia again. I also have a herniated disk in my low back (L5) and I now have tendonitis in my knees and shoulders. I'm in pain. Plain and simple. The idea of working out in a gym is too much. So I've been going to an aquatic therapy exercise program. I get some movement a few times a week in an attempt to strengthen my body, but it isn't enough to see any weight loss. I'm wishing I was still in my early 20's, going to kickboxing and spin classes- but that's not where I am.

As for my health: In addition to the fibromyalgia, I have allergies and asthma to contend with and I keep getting fungal infections on my skin and nails. I've also been suffering from IBS again. I was even diagnosed with arthritis in my SI joint. So in other words, I'm an inflamed mess. I feel gross.

So here I am. I'm feeling desperate. It's been years since I've read Eat to Live and my plan this week is to reread the book. I picked up the new cookbook yesterday and I'm going to research recipes. I need to lose weight and get the inflammation under control. I can't live with this pain. I feel sick all the time and that doesn't work for me. I'm angry- mostly at myself - that I can't seem to get it together.

Small steps. I need to do this for myself and my quality of life.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD7658463
    2497 days ago
    Thanks ladies. It means a lot to me that you took time out of your day to read this and offer words of encouragement. emoticon
    2502 days ago
    Good to see you back! You are very brave to be facing all these health issues squarely in the face. It sounds like you have a good plan to work your way back to a good place. One step at a time, like you said, making use of the resources here on SP along with Eat to Live. We're here for ya!
    2503 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7670124
    Welcome back. And don't be too hard on yourself. You know you have to make changes and are taking the first steps, that's awesome. I was on spark religiously a few years ago and lost 75 pounds then somewhere I fell off the wagon, gained 40 of it back. I knew I had to come back before the other 35 came back. I felt discouraged and hopeless but am working on it using some of the things I learned last time. So it wasn't exactly like starting at square one. I did it before and can do it again and so can you.
    2503 days ago
    So sorry to hear about your health struggles. I've dealt with health issues in the past three years and it's so challenging. I came to the conclusion to just work to maintain for a year or so. The fact that I did tells me that I will be able to maintain once I get to my goal. The journey has been longer than I expected.

    I really wish you the easing of your pain. My mom lives with arthritis and there are some days where it is just hard to move.

    Take care.
    2503 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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