I honestly don't think I've been away from my blog for this long before. There's no way to do an update and no reason to.
Life is amazing. I love my daughter, I love my husby, I love my job, I love my activist work, I love my home.
My body....... not so much.
I returned to good habits several times. I'd get into a habit of exercising at least 10 min. a day for a week... and then something crappy would happen. First, Jo got really sick, so all my energy went into looking after her and helping her sleep. Then, I got what Jo had and it turned into a major sinus infection that lasted two weeks. That was in January. In February, I got back into the habit for a week, and then Miles and I got food poisoning; a week later, we went to visit Miles' family. So I fell out of the habit again. I got back into the habit a couple weeks later, really focusing on my abs because I was getting a backache. Week and a half later, I herniated a disc in my back.
That was a month ago. I'm only now able to walk and sit pain-free. I was going to do physical therapy, but I guess my insurance company said no because my doctor's office never called me with a referral.
It's been really hard.
Whenever someone says "breastfeeding is great, and you lose the weight faster," I want to hurt them slowly. Breastfeeding was the worst (while some women talk about pumping 12 oz. at a time, I was lucky to get 5.), and I was one of those anomalies who doesn't lose any weight from nursing. Nope, it just made me hungry and thirsty and in a lot of pain. So I finally stopped in late February, at which point my period came back and I did start to lose a little of the baby weight. But then the slipped disc happened, and I am back where I started.
Literally. I'm 15lbs shy of my highest ever weight (207), and 5 lbs higher than I was when I joined Spark People back in 2008. (Or was it 9? Whatever).
It's depressing, yeah. More depressing is how weak my core is, and how walking at 3mph is as tiring as running 5.5mph used to be. Because that's what happens when you can't exercise for so long.
I know that my body can and will bounce back, eventually. "Bounce" is probably the wrong word -- "inch its way back" is probably more appropriate. Because this is going to take a long time. Miles works at 2:30am (until May 12) so I am alone with Jo every morning, so exercise is hard to fit in. But I can do my best to eat better. I'm already working on being MINDFUL of when and what I eat, and knowing when I'm really hungry vs. bored. I'm ready to recommit to walking regularly, working my way up to aerobics and running, and doing lots of planks (because I'm afraid to do any other ab work cuz of my back) to help my core.
The #1 thing I know that will work, but I can't get myself to commit to, is Paleo. I KNOW I function better on a Paleo diet. I KNOW this. I know a Whole 30 would be an amazing jump-start for me and would boost my confidence while jump-starting this change. But the fact is, I don't have TIME to cook and eat Paleo all the time. I'm still really struggling to find time to cook a proper meal after work -- I rely on the crock pot, frozen staples like tortellini, and quick fixes like tacos. A Whole 30/ Paleo diet takes a LOT of energy and time to do right.
So I have to figure out the diet thing. I'll get there eventually. To start, I just need to make some time to track what I eat. That's the beginning.
Just ten minutes a day. That's all it takes to start a habit.
I can do that, right?
(Oh, and I know you really want to see this -- my lil' sweetie! She's 6 1/2 month now and the. best. She is literally the best and I love her more than anything)
^ Her daycare had a little "picnic" for the little babies!
^ Tummy time is no longer a problem. Jo LOVES rolling around and she's already trying to crawl.
^ Her new fave toy -- a Jumparoo! It was her 1/2 birthday gift.
Isn't she just gorgeous?