Yesterday was a weigh in day. I lost .6 pounds. I was sort of happy with the loss, but wished it was bigger. I've been working out a lot and trying to eat well and healthy. (not always succeeding, but doing pretty well). I have logged nearly 80 miles already this month and worked out 16 out of the 17 days of April. (I didn't start my 100 days until April 2.)
The truth is I am tired and its only been 16 days! Had I made more progress maybe the good feelings would override the tiredness, but I haven't and so I am tired. I don't want to workout. I want to go find some chocolate to perk me up and make me not so tired! (anyone else hear my biggest problem with weight loss, emotional eating, rearing its ugly hear?)
My workout plans, which are usually nearly written in stone, changed for tonight when I was asked to go hear a speaker on campus with friend. Then I have soup supper and Maunday Thursday church. So working out is getting later. I fit in a bit of a walk at lunch, but I'm nowhere near my 10,00 steps.
And I'm tired. And it would be so easy to skip working out today. That would be par for the course for me. I have gotten tired and given up so many times before. At least there are no snacks in the office today to add further temptation in front of me, but I can hear the candy machine calling my name - and walking to second floor to visit the candy machine would add steps to my Spark! Yeah, that sounds like an idea! I'll just stop at my desk for some cash!
But I stopped my desk and there was an email that said I got a Spark Goodie and a note from a SparkTeammate. "Thank you so much for your blogs and your encouragement! Whether you know it or not, you have inspired me to keep on going! Thanks!" So instead of walking to the candy machine, I walked to the frig and got a can of Diet Coke (my candy alternative) and refilled my water bottle and came back to my desk again to write a blog.
You see, I want to do this for me, but sometimes the fact that I have inspired others is the push I need to stay on track. And your timing seriously couldn't have been better! I'm still tired, but your note reminded me what I am working towards. It also reminded me of all the people who have inspired me on this journey. Your confidence in me was what I needed to realize that I don't need that candy - I need to stay the course. To quote Dori, I need to "just keep swimming." I am on this journey for me, but if I can help someone else along the way by staying on my path, then I need to fight like crazy to do that - for me and all the other people on the journey too.
I'm tired because I have been working hard, but if I quit now because I am tired, it will only get harder to start up again and not starting over would not be an option. I don't want to start over again. I want to win this time. I want to reach my goal and no amount of tired should change that desire. My teammate reminded me of how far I've come since I wouldn't have been inspiring anyone mere months ago. And if I have come this far, that means I can go back far too. I can't stop moving forward now. I can't give up! I won't start over and I won't have to if I don't quit to begin with!
So, thank you to my teammate and all the others who have been so encouraging these past few months. You saved me today! Together we can do this. Together we can inspire each other and help each other over the hurdles and be the reminders we each need to keep putting one foot, or one meal, or one day in front of the other.