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True Confessions....(not AGAIN?)

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Okay, those of you who know me….know I am pretty OUT THERE (wacky-wise) and IN-YOUR-FACE HONEST….so this is my confession….lately I’ve been OUT OF CONTROL with my eating. Oh, trust me, I’m staying within my calorie range….BUT WITH THE WRONG FOOD GROUPS! Do you know how fast 1200 calories add up when you are eating homemade chocolate buttercream frosting??????? {{{{Snap}}}} whammy!

I don’t know about you, but as soon as I posted my last BLC24 weight…my subconscious (the little Me’s on my left and right shoulder… visualize them….one in a pearlescent gown with wings looking a bit like a Victoria Secret model and the other wearing a darling strapless form-fitting gown with RED cape and pitchfork) started arguing over me. The little red devilish one said loudly, “Hey Sister, It’s PARTY TIME….RELAX….you are on a break… Whahahahaha” The beautiful one in the pearlescent gown was saying, “Remember what happened during the 23/24 break? We are forming good healthy habits for always, not just for a competition!”

But, I couldn’t hear her.

I listened ONCE AGAIN to the rakish devilish one….and cannot believe I fell for the "OH YOU ARE ON BREAK" crap again. What is the deal with ME not understanding how the weight goes up? I mean really, I’m a reasonably intelligent woman. I know RIGHT from WRONG. I know how to eat right....really I do! SO WHAT IS THE DEAL?

My team decided to stay on the chat thread during the break and keep posting and weighing. Yesterday, I gained….really????? WAKE UP….WAKE UP…..WAKE UP! My life alarm was buzzing and I kept swatting at it, until I realized “HEY WHAT AM I DOING?”


I went to the gym (this is a normal routine for me) and I made a meal plan with healthy, beneficial foods and went to the store.

I feel like a child who has disappointed their parent. I’m the child, my body is my parent. I hear myself saying, “I’ll do better, I promise.”

Thank you for reading my confession. I’m telling you, my Spark Friends, “I’ll realize the error of my ways…I will do better, I promise.”

The consequence for my actions....losing the SAME weight over again. UGH!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • STAY39
    We all have these ups and downs because it is hard to stay on track and we are not perfect. Just keep on picking yourself up and plugging away in the right direction and it will become easier and easier to stay on course. Don't best yourself up too much! emoticon
    1829 days ago
  • MRSP90X
    Despite your pain, I enjoyed reading your dialog. I have been there myself far too many times. I can so relate. You CAN do it!! You are so much more important than the crap food!
    1830 days ago
  • CIPHER1971
    I am not hearing that alarm at the moment - I know what I am doing, but I am trying to avoid doing the right thing.

    Thanks for the reminder.

    Have a great day
    1830 days ago
    Break's over, on to better things. And by the way, no more breaks, you can do this. emoticon emoticon
    1830 days ago
  • SHARON7464
    Hit the reset button.... We all have days/weeks that are more challenging than others. emoticon
    1830 days ago
    I think we are all there with you, I know I am. We can overcome that little emoticon voice and start listening to the little emoticon voice. Two more weeks and BLC will start, emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1830 days ago
    The way I see it is we have a addiction and from what I understand about addiction is that relapse is part of recovery. Don't let the shame and guilt weigh you down! (No pun intended ha ha) If you learn from it then that is all that matters. It is how we learn, grow, and change. It is all part of the process. We want it to be one easy straight line down and for a few it is and they lose weight and keep it off and that is great but it isn't us! We have a lifetime of habits to undo and relearn! It is going to take a while and it will probably not be pretty but we can do it together!
    Progress NOT perfection!!!
    1831 days ago
    That is so great that you are realizing this NOW and now in 2 more weeks when BLC 25 starts. That is half the battle. I had a gain this week too, and it wasn't a conscious "BLC is over I don't have to try" thing, but it was a subconscious thing. It is so easy to let things slide for any reason, and it just shows BLC is a great motivator for us. We have 2 weeks to at least lose what we gained so we can start BLC 25 at the same weight (or a little lower) than we ended BLC 24. We can do it!! emoticon
    1831 days ago
  • MALAMI518
    Why does it seem that the "good one" whispers while the "trouble maker" yells? I've had days like that, and I'm sure that I'll have more. It's a lifetime journey, so there will be ups and downs and days off track. As long as you get yourself back to healthier habits and keep working, you will succeed!
    1831 days ago
    You know one of the other BLC teams has this motto: "This journey is 24/7/365!" I think we should all adopt that motto - we aren't on a diet that has an 'end date' we are on a life long journey. I personally think its ok to have an occasional treat but we do have to watch them - for me, I can have sugar at one meal with no serious consequences, but have it at one meal three days in a row and my cravings return. Its just NOT worth it - I'm in maintenance and it is SOOOOOOO much easier to maintain my weight without those crazy cravings (the ones that urge me to eat though I'm not hungry.)

    You have seen the error of your ways - so NOW is the time to turn that around!! Its only been one week - you have two more to mend your ways!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1831 days ago
    I fall into the same trap every BLC break. I have got to learn how to break this vicious cycle. I can type that we shouldn't undo the progress we've accomplished during Round 24 but it's harder to implement it. All we can do is come up with a plan and work on working the plan.

    1831 days ago
    get back on track
    1831 days ago
  • DEB62BIE62
    Right there with you. I've been struggling too. I'm close to my year mark, and it seems like the closer I get, the more I struggle. I was so excited to be on this journey, and I enjoy the way I look, but things have been crashing down on me, and I guess I'm back to the bad eating habits. I'll encourage you, so maybe that will help me to keep accountable.
    1831 days ago
    I'm having the same problem and I will say this to both of us: WE ARE F.B.I. Agents and what is our motto? NO EXCUSES! WE can do this together. We WILL overcome and lose this weight! I have faith - in ALL of us!
    1831 days ago
    I could have written this blog many times over, but you said it much better than I. We can do this!!!
    1831 days ago
    emoticon we have all been there trischa love but i guess i should remind you now before it is too late.easter isn´t about eating or food there is a spiritual aspect to it.maybe you can have say 1or 2 tops celerbratery meals(notice i said meals not days!)but the rest of the time you owe it to yourself to stay on track.i know you can do this.what is past is done and behind can´t change that.but what you can change is the here and now and therefore your future.remember the next choice you make is that a choice,your choice and because it is your choice that makes it a powerful make your choices count.also whatever choice you make weather good or bad own can do this love emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1831 days ago
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